Sonja Elizabeth Ahlers

things on my desktop

2012-01-26T01:05:00.000-08:00

bunnies sleeping on desktop

Book reviews on ROOKIE here.

christina ricci, 1998

FRANCESCA WOODMAN where do i begin??

truth be told, my desktop is a total mess. Laura Palmer is also sleeping on the desktop. I really love photographed plastic. Francesca Woodman's work is fairly new to me. Photographs. Mind=blown. Blown=mind. I dont know where to begin. Her work is astonishing. She died in 1981 at the age of 22. She jumped out of a building.

THIS WOMAN'S WORK!!!

2012-01-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this yet? alison schulnik. shary tole me about her awhile back and when share(balls) recommends, you know it's gonna be REALLY GOOD. (thanks to my people over at banquet for posting this! My people)

Mound by Allison Schulnik from garaco taco on Vimeo.

My New Life

2012-01-20T21:04:00.000-08:00

and again: MY NEW LIFE
i love that hair. That rat's nest/bird's nest driving in that car. something like that. That's Dora Ford in the middle. I dont know anything about her but it's a pretty picture i found. it's about -38 here in the Yukon. Thanks 4 that!
HAPPY 2012!
xo
PS the lana del rey drama carries on. JT LEROY

'I will love you till the end of time'

2011-11-27T18:31:00.001-08:00

oops forgot to blog for what...like..what? a year? can i blog everyday? if a tree falls in the forest, does anybody give a rat's ass? I know i do.

so yessssssss i'm in TORONTO doing the terry fox marathon (bless him) version of all things bunnies..give me my dixie cup of water every 30 steps. ..actually no. pass me my FAVOURITE CUP. I bought this EXCELLENT cup from hugo didier last year at the Oneofakind show where i am now..I drink my 900 tonnes of water out of it every day. It's tall in the shape of a heart with a lipstick kiss mark where your own lips hit the cup and drink the water. AND! Ergonomic: it fits perfectly in your hand. Hugo himself told me each lipstick mark on every cup is HIS OWN. Dude applied and re-applied lippystick for HOW MANY CUPS? i'm going to ask him tomorrow cos i'm going to buy MORE. (i actually bought two last year but one vanished into thin air). I'm really not much of a shopper. ok i lie but i'm really really picky and i only buy the good sh*t.

the show is going awesomely. i dont know what it is. My booth location? I'm right around the corner from JULIE SINDEN. Thank goodness. It's been so, so busy...for example: run out for 5 minutes to go buy a five dollar coffee so i can stay awake for the next 13 hours going on 4 hours sleep and not eating anything all day but a handful of almonds and then not even being able to drink the coffee. i'm NOT kidding you. This is the opposite of my usual life. of course i find this all to be really fun..even if it's insane and exhausting and not super healthy but i make up for the food in the evening. in fact, i just polished off grant's chocolate coconut bliss. OOPS. I keep wondering when people will stop paying attention to the bunnies but it doesnt seem to be..happening. they just continue to gain in popularity like a VERY LARGE SNOWBALL. I will say that i do my best to make them better and push for evolving/evolution. It's really all i care about. All i care about is MAKING IT BETTER. And i mean everything.

a very sweet girl came in with her mom (times 10 - this happened several times over) and wanted my autograph. ???! (she really just wanted the bunny's autograph but bunny didnt have a pen so i was the stand-in). Lots of girls carry their bunnies with them everywhere. THE STORIES I HAVE HEARD. Bunnies with homemade hammocks stretched over beds, bunny condos, bunny apartment buildings...Um..i do love it when i get to revisit a bunny..when a collector brings their bunny by to say hi. I usually add some accessories..today i added a silver halo/headband with a gray feather to a big pink bunny.
Collectors. This is how it goes.

i digress. There are a hundred stories. ALL OF THEM ARE AMAZING. This stuff keeps me going.

i've been listening to that lana del rey business. i know i've been in a warren for the last while..is this all new? am i that out of it? i like her 'video games' and 'blue jeans' songs and her LOOK IS QUITE GOOD. HER NAILS and the ooober bling (diamante hoops the size of halos) and the 1940s veronica lake hair and those slightly sleazy rose-tinted heart-shaped specs (I mean - COME ON) and her 50s dresses and other random. kinda dope (like soap on a rope).
i heard she had plastic surgery assistance but what else is new and free to be you and me so that is weird but free to be me and you and while we're at it everyone else we know. oddly, strangely, amazingly, she and her sister run a "grassroots homeless outreach program in New York assisting street people (that never feels right to say) in piecing back their identification/paperwork so they may transition back into 'normal life' and get jobs, apartments". WHO IS THIS PERSON? Just try and connect the dots. Actually - don't because you won't. She's appears...???
i like those two songs and the style mashing and her possibly true humanitarianism?
Now i'm going to listen to BLUE JEANS over and over.

and let's hope it's all true and not this bullsh*t

POSTSCRIPT POSTSCRIPT POSTSCRIPT!! it's all fake!!!! i knew it. Lisa Prentice proved it. Her daddy purchased all of it. I KNEW something was rotten in the state of Denmark. It just wasnt sitting right. just wasn't. wasn't

In other news - i dont have time to do ROOKIE pictures this month but i have been pounding out movie reviews left, right and centre. HAAAAAAAA FRIED GREEN TOMATOES! I have new meaning, new purpose to my existenz as a human bean.

check it.

MEEK'S CUTOFF

2011-11-11T02:47:00.001-08:00

i'm about halfway through. it is very dumbly that i am 'watching' this while frantically sewing (not frantic..the only way the bunnies work now is if they are made slowly. I contemplate each stitch now. it frightens me sometimes. the perfectionism has reached a new high (i think it makes realize how far i had to come. that also frightens me). i say 'dumbly' b/c this movie requires 1000% attention. It is so beautiful. The colour palette. You are there. A canary in a birdcage. No water. Chucking dead weight heirlooms off the back of a covered chuck wagon. Crude knitting. Gun powder. One book. Dry cracked skin and dirt.

trailer here
i want to wear bonnets. i love their clothing.

THE FRIDGE

2011-10-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

i like to decorate fridges. It's my personal art gallery and IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY. i was thinking of organizing a group show years back (1996?). Everyone would drag their own fridge (to wherever gallery) & decorate and fill their fridge. Someone talked me out of it pointing out logistics and all. but i wonder why i let them talk me out of it? People make insane movies that bleed money. Herzog made FITZCARRALDO. Oh. and then there's Ishtar. Lesson: dont listen to anybody. Another lesson: if you think your idea is dumb or logistically dumb, think of Ishtar.
Here is the current stage of the fridge. This exhibit titled ART WORKERS WONT KISS ASS is ending tomorrow. (it's already getting covered by the new slew). Most of these images came via amazing mail and mostly from my pal SUZY. Shary sent 'the hand of the artist'. I have no idea whose hand that is (probably picasso's. It is usually Picasso). Lesson #3: It's a really good idea to send me mail.

Picardo

Pinnipeds. i love seals. always have. always will. when i was a little kid my favourite stuffed animal was a black seal. they seem so defenseless! It's difficult for them to move on land. Their eyes are windows to every lost soul.

J. Crew cata. hello. sweaters and tutus??? YES. That's Suzy's drawing as a fridge magnet. she's dancing with the stars.

brilliant suzy art

EGRETS! I am very drawn to these birds. How stunning. The wingspan. Stick an 'r' in front of 'egret' and you know what you have (and i have many and none). I love this image. I might have to blow it up into a huge poster.

GD CATHY!!!she's a tard but u must luv her. This is a collaboration between me and the Swizzler..it's a CATHY sticker in and amongst the great artists of our time. Ha. That's Paul Cezanne seated and white bearded Camille Pissarro..and some hangers-on. Art. The End.
PS the ART WORKERS WONT KISS ASS POSTER was a gift from grant heaps. It's good isn't it? www.primaryinformation.org

BEHAVING OURSELVES

2011-10-17T15:34:00.000-07:00

here are some elle fanning collages i was tinkering with while in dawson @ the residency a month or whatever ago. i had a break through while shifting the papers around and then realized 'oh, just photograph them'. Sometimes collage work can drive a person mad. There are too many possibilities. You have to force clarity and just commit.

Here is song of the week (just scroll past the chrissie hynde/joan jett image and 'ode to lydia lunch' text to 'all too human'. I cannot, for the life of me, place the jangly guitars..and what they remind me of..but it's so good)

singles & ROOKIE

2011-10-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

so weird. i've been driving around listening to the SINGLES soundtrack (might be over it..but ya..that 'click' will take u to my favourite song on it. DORK!)..and then ROOKIE gave me a few assignments one of them being an illustration on THE JOYS OF BEING SINGLE. so weird b/c everything i illustrate for them is basically my life..(w/ the exception of an upcoming story on 'cutting'). Heavy stuff. wonder why. (Lived thru it). So the above image. i just wanted to look at the illustration again b/c it turned out so well. I cant tell you how fun it is to work for Rookie. It's like a psychic/ESP communication/connection. Total dream. I've been going on and on about it but if you knew me personally and my life - you'd understand why I am going on about it. It can get very lonely way the fk hell out in left field waving my arms around, 'hey! hey! guys!!! OVER HERE!' (for decades)..and then just saying 'forget it' and go live in my own little self-constructed universe. Which is fine. And I do. Very well. But sometimes i want to connect with other like-minded individuals. I care about this project very much. I care about true connectedness and community and building self-esteem and self-worth for THE LADIES OF THE WORLD.

My local friend little stevie brought up the 'judgment day' soundtrack mentioning that it's one of the first 'cross overs'...like melding/fusing several genres. Like..y'know..metal and rap. Et cetera. I'm glad genre crossing is more at the forefront. BRING THAT! It's important to throw things off.

I've been internet trolling a bit (all inspired by ROOKIE) and I've found some fun things! Do you like The Notebook? Then you probably like fellow Canadian Ryan Gosling. This 'Feminist Ryan Gosling' blog is good stuff. I think the blog is about 5 days old now. the thing blew up mental overnite. That's The Sign. (& if you havent seen BLUE VALENTINE yet, get on it, please!)

Here's a great little NPR interview w/ Tavi talking about Rookie. I love her speaking voice. She is so composed and wise and thoughtful.
This hilarious NINETIES blog...the front page screams at you: YOU'RE NOT PUNK AND I'M TELLING EVERYONE ('save your breath/i never was one') . That's a lyric from an old Jawbreaker song. I'm just lamenting - Blake was my penpal for a minute. Penpals. Sigh.

PS back to crossing genres..this is really the best song off the SINGLES soundtrack..it's a cover of 'battle of evermore' by the Lovemongers aka HEART. It's better than Zep's.

POST SCRIPT! as in next day/now. That post was the frk'n most random thing i've ever done. i think this might be my new goal in life. MORE RANDOM. Or wait. Is that a bad thing? it is too scattered?

'my fascination with Fatal Attraction knows no bounds'

2011-10-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

i love these images from an EW 'fatal attraction' reunion (sans brunette). Reunion?? If you know the movie, this is surreal. It's a happy ending! A framed chef's knife! Hell ya! (speaking of which - my brand new chef's knife is M.I.A. since my move). Glenn's even wearing a similar shade of dried blood red nail polish she wore as Alexx Forest in F.A (her outfits in that movie are outstanding). There's even a puppy dog under that bench. Glenn Close is in my top 5 favourite actresses('AcTOR!', says the actress) and michael douglas is still alive.

We're all still alive.

White bunnies abound right now. That little bunny looks pretty chilled out. Okay time to watch DAMAGES now.

POSTING BUNNIES

2011-10-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

I've been posting bunnies on the etsy store because sometimes this is what i do..and then months pass and i dont have time but i have time right now!
(do you love the profile pic of a Pocohontas-inspired bunny? Can you even tell what it is? Thought not).

Also still on my Courtney jag! I watched this BEHIND THE MUSIC from 2010..it blew my mind. It's so heavy and incredible and embarrassing and sad and beautiful and brilliant. It's a huge part of my own personal history and make-up having grown up so much alongside of it in a weird nosebleed seat kinda way but also feeling front row and inside of it as a collective biography thing that life seems to be sometimes.

I have a thousand things to say about Courtney Love.
I am working on something.

FALL ON YOUR SWORD

2011-10-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

i'm waiting on pins and needles for November's VANITY FAIR w/ this Love piece that i want to read..but I may know all the info i need to know - or not know (meaning: i know enough). I did find this tiny short film 'courtney in wonderland' via VF's site. It's weird. But I watched it twice. It's like i'm going to get some special key or insight into humanity and WHY and WHY and WHY?? How do people like this do this???? GET THERE? It's unbelievable. The Secret. My CL fixation has been going on and off and on since about 1992 or 1993. My hate and my love. She boggles my mind.

Dial-A-Lash

2011-10-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

2011-09-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

my friend anne just made me watch this. I was mesmerized. Sat rapt. ALL MY TIME IN VANCOUVER. My past life flashed before my eyes.

Radar

2011-09-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

Here is where i live now. It is called the 'radar apartments'. I love this image. It was built by the military
(awesome (that's sarcasm)) in 1948 as a SIGNAL STATION! I can feel it. I love living in buildings that were not meant to be lived in....but become that - living spaces. I like this because it feels very neutral. Having spent the last month at the 100+year old haunted Macaulay House in Dawson has loaded me up enough for the next decade. I need neutral. This new space is a very open space with the highest ceilings i've ever seen in a non-living space plus wall of windows plus a good eggshell white wall for me to work on. The light is outstanding. It is perfect light. I feel like a plant in a good spot. I will get much work done in here.
Oh. And the hallways. Sick. Dark wood panelboard and just DARK and more dark and SHINING. I love it. It's totally weird and suits me just fine.
For now.

Now I Am Forty

2011-09-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

"Light from a cake is such a great light. Maybe we should just live in cake light", says Claire from Six Feet Under. She might have been stoned when she said that. But she is right. It is the best light.

This was fun. The painting in the background is still pencilled outline from Alice Munro's 'Lives Of Girls And Women'..but i blacked out those four letters. Everyone is making a big deal out of forty..it feels as epic and as on par as losing one's virginity...Forty feels better than 20 and 30. I've always known it would be this way. I've always known it would be better some day. And it is.
My friend Wendy threw a sweet and very special and very small little birthday party for me at the shack. She got me a cake, bunny ears and sushi. It was perfect. I only like small parties from now one. Thank you Wendy!

other people's art

2011-09-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

THIS photo (sorry..ART) made me laugh! Let's get random. I love the styro foam he's using like wrist rests..and that he's propped up on work horse-whatever-those-things-R w/ boxes of sh*t underneath (AWESOME) and every other obvious thing about it that is hilarious (a single magenta croc (double gross), the poorly faked amputated knee (we can see that it's bent), cucumber fingers? sezza whatta?). Outstanding. bravo bravo.

this image is called 'crystal swallow' i think. I like it. ..to temper that sick other image is the great Simone d. Beauvoir (a quote of hers is the crux or nucleus of a current book project. How obvious is that?) and some more art. I found that art here...stumbled upon it while i was looking up (one of) the only galleries i like in Toronto.

My eyes are sore.
I'll snap out of my sarcasm like an elastic band listening to Elastica.
Just give me 5 minutes.

and lastly (it's hard 2 believe that word exists. it seems wrong but i'm using it)

IF NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC MAGAZINES ARE THE 'YELLOW PLAGUE' THEN BUILD ME A CROUP TENT OR THROW ME IN QUARANTINE FOR 24 YEARS! FINE! NO PROBLEM! NO MORE NGMs! please!

(as much as i dearly love them).

Yes. still at residency. still sorting.
xo
ps. tried zumba today. no comment.
Alright. Comment: i have mild dyslexia and i can only move to my own moves.
it was alright. the music was awful so that made it a drag. Over produced processed latin beats? NO THANK YOU. fix the music and i'll reconsider.

NOTHINGNESS

2011-09-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

this is part of an installation i did a few years ago. i like it @ this moment b/c it is almost Nothing. I have a love of nothingness.

WHEN YOU ARE BORED YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

2011-09-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

like posting (stupid) pictures of yourself (cos no one else is gonna do it (my tagline))
And by using the word 'stupid', am i depreciating the self?

i'm quite into these hilarious LOOK AROUND YOU instructional videos (link is below) made by some brilliant UK jokesters from the earlier part of the 200000s. Micah Adams here at the residency showed me one yesterday. The details are outstanding: scientists pointing out everything with pencils...to the point of pointing out the pencils with pencils.

When you have 10 minutes to yourself i suggest kicking back with one (especially if you have a bowl of soup to eat). MATHS is my favourite. I was watching the 'ghosts' one b4 bed last night. Bad idea. APPARENTLY the Macaulay House is haunted. I've been having bad dreams and i'd say there is something ghostie going on. It probably didn't help that we were out at an abandoned mining compound last night poking around through all the rubble. It's safe to say that ALL of Dawson City is haunted. There was a whole bike graveyard with turn-of-the century bike parts. So much junked machinery. Rust never sleeps.
PS that's a picture of me trying not to crack up and trying to capture some ghosts in the mirror. When you are bored you can do anything you want.

I wasn't bored.

LOVE IS A BEACH

2011-09-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

Collage: Over the Edge is the movie I have been watching since i was eight years old. Since 1978. The youtube trailer does not do it justice. I will talk about this movie again. Back to this: the textiles are mine - angora sweater scraps from making bunnies stitched back to gether to make a quilt (it'll be years in the works). Look at Madonna's eyebrows! Aren't they something! (not even a question). I spent a fair amount of energy looking at photos of her the other night. I read the comments rather in-depth (never do). It was revelatory. The consensus of the common people: She is a BITCH.

Ain't nothing wrong with being a bitch.
Although being a bitch for extended periods can eventually go All About Eve sideways.

I'm still in DAWSON CITY..Here's some Dawson for you: me wake up sitting at kitchen table drinking my coffee phone rings: "hi sonja. it's eryn. can you come and play softball? We need a girl. We need a girl in five minutes".
me: what?

so i hop on the junkie bike at the residency to join a freaking TOURNAMENT that's in progress...the opposition was a team of TOTAL PROS from fairbanks, alaska.
I did hit the ball. so hard. Eryn said, 'you've got the power. that's all that matters'.
The last time i played softball was in 1982. I was on a team. Just as i was really getting into this tournament, the game was over. We were C.R.E.A.M.E.D. Admittedly, I did do a lame thing which was whip back to the rez mid-game to get my gumboots. i didnt want to destroy my multi-metallic adidas high tops with subdued gold laces. REFUSED. No one told me the field was all mud. (it only took 4 minutes to do this. Dawson is a tiny, tiny town).

ok! so the ROOKIE site/mag is going up Labour Day (that's RIGHT NOW. i started this post yesterday). I want you in front of your computer on Labour Day. Right now. I contributed some lovingly orchestrated collage compositions/illustrations and two book reviews (for two of my favourite books) and a song for the staff playlist. I want to hear that playlist. It hasnt been posted yet.
As for this project: I'm thrilled. "Thrilled" as in: i just got off a rollercoaster ride..or mid-way ride or at the beginning..of the ride.

Here is info on the site:http://www.thestylerookie.com/

and then HERE IS THE ACTUAL SITE:

ROOKIE

"The One I Love Is Gone"

2011-08-29T01:17:00.000-07:00

I'm in Dawson City now
for a month long artists' residency.
(i think my entire existence is an artists' residency).

sort of

after a very long drive
(driving into the sunset)
i crossed over

to here.

Now that I am here and have halfway unpacked and it's late
I was looking for NEW MUSIC and remembered these sisters from a Q episode. Oh how i love The Secret Sisters! Their heavenly voices. This one made me cry. So I'm sitting by myself in a huge house (the other artist arrives shortly..that's Micah Adams. New favourite artist. Check out his business)...and another remembrance: This house is haunted.

The drive was 6 hours (anne claims it's seven. i think i did it in 5 once driving a stick. shift. not a witch's but what's the diff?). I sang pretty much the entire way. It helps with the anxiety i occasionally experience...that affects my breathing. meaning: the anxiety inhibits my breathing. but i've been so busy the last few days PACKING ETC ETC (i wont divulge. it's good and it's bad and then it's good and then it's great and then it's 'whatever it is' and you just have to KEEP ROLLING WITH IT) i havent been doing the things i do to keep it in check. BUT I SWEAR IT! SINGING saves the day..and the Secret Sisters are a revelation.

Songs 2 sing along to while driving to dawson today only:
The Mountain - PJ harvey ('for in my heart/every tree is broken'. The best part is when she goes all hi crazy voice at the end. i want that business on the BODY DOUBLE ALBUM. My band w/ elisa rose). Not Ready To Make Nice - Dixie chicks (i know. if you knew me you'd laugh. btw, that docu they did a few yrs ago is really good. It is called SHUT UP AND SING), Scout Nibblet, Gillian Welch - My First Lover (any of her songs are great car singalongs)..i was happy when DJ Random delivered a 'skinny little bitch' via HOLE to me...It is fun stuff to sing to. ..unfortunately that song wears thin after one listen every six months (or years). Dont let it bring you down. I love CL.
I took a crack at 'broken wings' (Mr. Mister) thinking i might karaoke it but there's just no way.
Please note: probably most hilarious is that i was wearing headphones the entire trip.
i'm pretty sure i drove thru some light dusting of snow..or FROST. i'm not KIDDING! August!

Yukon.

I may blog with some more frequency! Soonerly i get to announce this f'n AMAZING PROJECT i've been involved with. It's too too good to be true. see what i mean? GREAT.
PS. Dont ever fall in love.

you can be in love
just dont
fall
in

it.

(am i seriously posting this entry? there's so much REVEAL in here)

my summer ended 2.5 weeks ago

2011-08-24T03:48:00.000-07:00

"BEAM ME UP SCOTTIE THERE'S NO INTELLIGENT LIFE DOWN HERE"

2011-08-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

"she threw a suicide-themed Sweet 16 party at the House of Blues on Sunset Strip"

My friend Brooke posted some link on my FACEBOOK page (i wont get started)...of 'hedi slimane's diary'..i'm all 'what's this?': a bunch of cool pristine super clear beautiful black and white portraits of a dark-haired gothic beauty covered in harsh tattoos and tattered superhero tshirts and black lace and roman catholic ephemera and smoking in every shot' etc. all i could think was: HARSH YOUTH..like this person has lived. Took me a little bit to find out who it was: FRANCES COBAIN. I'm shocked. When did she stop eating? She's skin and bones and skin chain smoking against a chain link fence. dirty hands. bitten nails. and. again.

I was looking at some of (multi-millionaire) Frances' ART not long ago. It's pretty disturbed. I know that stuff comes with age. I look back at my Early Work and i want to burn it. all.
I hope she's okay.
Sample tattoo script reading: "Well, it's my time coming and I'm not afraid to die"

'Art is the solution to chaos'

Images are all HERE

PS black and white is where it is at. for me. for me. i'm also mildly obsessed w/ THE CROW right now. I posted that on The Facebook just to throw a few people off my trail. It was confessional sh*t. It's important to look at the dark side of things. they're doing a re-make of 'crow' apparently..with Mark Wahlberg! (at least it's not bradley cooper (was on the list)). anyways. I was doing some research for a project and FORGOT that brandon lee was killed on the set of THE CROW. That is so heavy, so sad. Watching it is like watching a funeral procession. I saw it originally in the theatre and wasnt too impressed..thought it was kind of lame at the time. It's dark and dark. The 90s were very violent. So many people had their own small war going on inside of them.

Hi Guys

2011-08-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

thanks to the LP/angelus novus for the poster. it's like a scream text. The font is hilarious. reminds me of the Peanuts for some reason. i dont know where she found it. she has her ways.

just got back from my evening walk. i did the lame version on the dirt road. i cant go too deep into the woods right now. mushrooms abound on the ground. it's chilly here in the Yukon. All kinds of fun things happening!

pink beatrice

2011-07-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

my views on my walk along the bluffs of the yukon river

elizabeth taylor, drying rosemary, bunny by selena wong, fieldguided calendar, owlie from tasmania/kellysmith, rabbit art by jackie (hi guy), my woodpile in the backyard

MY BENCH. I love this bench. it's in the middle of n o w h e r e .

my depression-era 'patsy' doll. i have a small collection of dolls - just a few.

me and my yarrow. i picked so much yarrow before i left YT. It's all drying for later tea.

a favourite bunny, a playmobil NUN, ribbon, lamb, broken egg shells, ice cream cone, a note to self (next book title that i will not divulge)

bunny in a nest of scraps

more depression-era things (do you see a theme? shack, scraps, depresh. I'm fine)...doll's tea set on a stack of golden books

messy shack
my current ongoing obsession: FEAR. My friend Suzanne (aka Pink Beatrice) just wrote me a note that she hosted a FEAR PARTY once. I'm waiting on the details (on pins and needles). Mark Wahlberg lives part time in Toronto where i am currently writing this.

JUST IN: Suzanne's FEAR party notes: party hosted in 2004 (genius. 8 yrs after its release date. right on time) w/ ex-boyfriend (they're still friends. check), invites sent out on tear-shaped cut outs with movie tagline: TOGETHER FOREVER (OR ELSE), a white cake with NICOLE 4 EVA on it in bloody red writing (btw. Suzy has probbs my favourite lettering evah)..u see..markiemark gave himself a 'nicole 4 eva' homemade tatty. nice work, bro! across his CHEST.

that cake sounds like kathleen hanna's Pearl Jam cake from about what? 97? from 'bake the cake that says DONT DIE'..and reminding me of my beloved TOTAL HELL cake from 'theselves' book launch at drawn and quarterly last yeaer that peggy got. I LOVE CAKE. i'll talk about it till the day i die.

Also just in: ANXIETY is caused when you go against your GUT FEELINGS.

That's intuition
which is always
100% correct

still.
night!

Baby Steps

2011-07-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

Baby steps. These photographs are out of control...once again!!! CARLSBAD (waito)..those are my hands (and my neon glow-in-the-dark ring from a dolla store 5 years ago). These bunnies. I swear. I dont even know where they come from - they always surprise me. I love this little one in her blueblood milkmaid handmaid couture littlehouse on the prairie attire. Not only is this baby steps - she is expecting a baby - there's a peanut in there under the underlay. That and all of my painstaking perfectionism that goes into each and every bunny (AND THING) that i make. You can find her here.

PS i am so enjoying the city right now! I love summer. xo

I dont know about you but...

2011-07-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

this is what my family is kinda like.
Thank you to Carly Waito for her excellent photography skillz

stevie bunny

2011-06-06T02:59:00.000-07:00

i've been wanting to do a Stevie bunny for awhile - but have not. This is the closest. She is a custom order for a bunny collector who lives in France. Marie sent me the black lace requesting a Victorian dress. She taught me the word ECRU - which is my favourite noncolour of the mo'. I spent many, many hours on this - the dress. the design...it's tea-dyed lambswool underlay with two tiers of lace...i doubled up the crocheted lace collar (a black button to emulate JET...oh and i made her cashmere slippers. Bunny slippers for the first time. If there were feathers, a top hat, platform elevator stevie boots, random RANDOM scarves..we could get more Stevie...but this is kinda close. This is a prelude. Marie named the bunny Lottie.

FORCE MAJEURE - NEW WORK

2011-05-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

MIDNIGHT!

2011-05-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

This bad photo was taken last night at oh eight twelve hundred hours. midnight!!! i was driving at the time having just left BRIDESMAIDS and heading to the recycling depot.

Bridesmaids, of course, is great. I'm 10 days late.
My favourite character is Melissa McCarthy's - aka SOOKIE of Gilmor Girls. I like the randomness of her character. She's hilarious. Kristen Wiig really nailed the spirited loser thing down of my/her generation. I was cheering by the end. I went by myself last minute and probably entertained the entire theatre (on top of already high entertainment) with my laugh track.

My favourite part was when Annie was trying to get the policeman's/love interest's attention by driving back and forth and back and forth in every possible 'get busted' scenario in her crappy car. Chugging beer, texting, throwing garbage out the window, topless, skulked down ghost driving, burning rubber, popping wheelies (no), noise pollution etc. That is my level of humour. Gentle relentlessness/keep it coming/dont stop. (kind of like how me and Lisa Smolkin have been calling each other 'guy' now for probably almost 20 yrs - inspired by her family's waitress greeting at The Keg: HI GUYS. ed. note: We are not ALL GUYS speaking of which..apparently 'hangover 2' is 'DON'T').

And ROSE BYRNE (of DAMAGES etc) whom i adore -also a treat. If Minka Kelly (aka FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS) is the poor lady's Rose Byrne, what does that make Leighton Meester? (of COUNTRY STRONG fame*..she's good in C.S. which i watched TWICE not knowing whether to laugh or cry). Those last two ladies star in a new 'single white female' *thing* called THE ROOMMATE. it looks terrible but of course i'm intrigued to do my 'half-watch' while i do other tasks. maybe maybe not. I like female psycho-dramas. I like when people try to hit it and miss the nail. Mind you, it's better if we dont waste anymore energy on this. We can just listen to the new Beyonce rapture jingle.

She wins.

*i truly urge you to hit that link. it doth bloweth thine mind
Meester has a good singing voice. I havent watched Gossip Girl. No thank you. Maybe next decade. I only got into Gilmour Girls last year b/c there was a boxed set sitting in front of me and i had a huge bunny order to sew.

THE BACKYARD

2011-05-06T12:19:00.000-07:00

Granderizing

2011-04-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

I've been making trees out of paper. Trees from the inside envelopes of my bank statements. Trees from collected tree sections from any book you can imagine. GRANGERIZING. like exquisite corpses. knights hanging from the tree tops. animals living below. Abstracted minimal forests from wood found out on the trails at Crag Lake...propped up skid style. against a wall. leaning.
i come from loggers.

The bird. I couldn't resist 'sticking a bird on it'...or putting a bird on it. it's an ezra jack keats' bird. i love him.

this is all part of a larger whole and just a fraction of the work i produced at the retreat.

this includes: a (two?) new 'selves-type' book(s), a boxed zine series (half-done? three quarters? hard to say. there is so much tricky poetry that needs much work. that could last years).....an angora quilt from the scraps of bunnies (so far looking like satellite photo of landmass/continents. tone on tone on tone), carefully collected fur scraps (from the tannery) and antique textiles. also. a painting series. forgot about that. some inspired by 'the joy of sex'. have u looked at that book? it's quite messed but the drawings/illustrations are beautiful. the text is demented. that book may have caused some damage? dont quote me on that.

things go into projects/sections or it will decided if it all gets mashed together and made sense of.
hard to say. may not see the light of day.

i havent made work at this volume in fifteen years.

Amy Sedaris

2011-04-19T00:54:00.000-07:00

We share some initials.

Here we are. That's me, Lisa Smolkin, a Chapters employee, a bunny, a book(s), some guy, a bottle of water and Amy Sedaris
That was something else.
(12.2010)

IT'S ALIVE!

2011-04-19T00:50:00.000-07:00

That's my aluminum foil ball. I've been working on it for three years. it may not look like much but it is dense.
I started with nothing.
and went from there.

The big news is the Sobey Art Award nomination. We share some initials. I'm so thrilled about this long list.

I intend on posting images from the Ted Harrison Artists' Retreat that i just finished up. That was something.

Mr. Mojo Rising

2011-02-10T01:00:00.000-08:00

This guy is heading back to Singapore shortly. I've been re-doing his original cape. A puppy mauled the first one. Here he is hanging out in the Yukon woods back in the fall. (and he is so not singing 'All By Myself' to himself. Not).
M named him 'Mojo'.

I watched an Emily Carr documentary tonight 'Winds Of Heaven' @ the film festival. That was very great. So much good footage. All I want to do now is make a totem pole. I've been thinking about it for awhile now.

btw. That Joan Rivers' PIECE OF WORK documentary is excellent. Highly recommended. My jaw dropped on 2 or 3 times. I couldn't believe the stuff she was saying. She is merciless. And amazing. 75! Unstoppable.

"Never Let Me Go"

2011-02-10T00:34:00.000-08:00

I'm on a Carey Mulligan jag so i got 'Never Let Me Go' and 'The Greatest' out of the friendly neighborhood movie rental joint Up Here in Whitehorse. (CM makes good choices. i like to watch shtars rise 2 fame, fame. GO CM).

NEVER LET ME GO (a 2010 British dystopian drama film based on the 2005 novel of the same name written by Kazuo Ishiguro) is so, so, so good. It is My Kind Of Movie. I'm 3/4s the way through because i was watching it so late last night and weeping willow and had to 'pause it' for 24 hrs so that i may collect myself for the final 1/4 heartbreaker.

It is about eternal love and clones. In England.

It's weird that i would 'advertise' a movie but I'm only trying to let you know it's so good & WATCH IT. cos when we tell each other these things we are really only talking about ourselves.
it's a human condition.
to talk about things this way.

And besides. Next time we see each other we will have something to talk about.

I'm also on my omnipresent 'the EXORCIST' jag (research for a project) and found this great image above which fits (dovetails) nicely with the lisa germano album art for 'lullabye for liquid pig. In classic Ahlers form, i still havent listened to the album. In other classic Ahlers form, i've probably already 'blogged' this image but. There Is No Time Like the Present).

right.

THERE IS ONLY ONE STORY is a poem by Erica Jong

(thank you L.S)

what's this business?

2011-02-01T11:56:00.000-08:00

NicksBucks and Room With A View. Once Helena Bonham Carter guest starred in an episode of Miami Vice...as Sonny's girlfriend! What a shock that was.

six weeks later...

2011-01-31T22:58:00.000-08:00

I just finished this custom order for *HOLLY*! This little one is named "Lemon" as per Holly's request...a character from '30 Rock' (shockingly i've yet to rock). What makes this bunny especially special is that she's made from one of my baby coats. A little chick yellow angora handknit coat jacket number. My mom sent it to me 3 years ago with a bunny request. There was NO WAY i was going to cut it up. Instead i displayed it in my Toronto bedroom for a year. It was then packed up and brought to the Yukon. I'm not sure what shifted inside...but enough for me to be able to cut this puppy up but. Regardless, it was very hard. These things have to happen. These things need to be done. My mom said i wore the matching bonnet often but found the coat too warm (I'm hot-blooded). I will not cut up the bonnet. Promises. There's enough angora to make one more fierce bunny and a small group of 'Peepers'...plus some accoutrements (bunny capes and collars) and a bit left over for a quilt i'm making.
Please
ignore the night photo/day photo yellow colour changes. the true colour is in between those.

peanut, pussywillow

2010-12-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

i love this photo that sue took. she bought the little mini casserole dish with bunny and handpicked yukon pussywillows over the weekend at the...da da na na..oneofakind show..which is now over. what a crash. i was having so much fun w/ the little bunny store and then it...ended. always so sad. endings.
i did a reading last night for the burner magazine 02 launch party. that was a nice time. sarah and leah are such good ladies. you can read the feature article where i talk about if anne sexton and sylvia plath were who they were in the 90s, they could've had a band. and so forth. jason did a blog post at the party. click that link to see some funny pictures. i'm wearing my friend kristin's dress..METTE. i love that dress and am always looking for opportunities to wear a dress. it has POCKETS! feel free to create an opportunity for us to all wear dresses. fancy or otherwise*

i have to go sort some bunnies now for a bunny delivery tomorrow. on my bike.

(what a treat to ride my bike in the winter! thanks toronto)
*i dont get alot of opportunities to wear dresses in the yukon. but i do wear my lavender corderoys alot.

2010-12-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

'get me out of this thing'
my friend JASON showed me a super fast way to transfer images from iphoto (i was taking the long way) to desktop and now here...thanks Jason!

2010-12-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

manet

2010-11-26T21:06:00.000-08:00

I will be sad to see this little lady fly away home. Carly made her stand! Then she stood. Then she started walking away. I had to cut her off at the door. Her outfit is inspired by this Manet painting that is always in my head. It's all about the buttons. There is a bit of an optical illusion going on with fifre's brass buttons; from neck to sleeve and then continues down the front. A row. She only has two buttons, of course..she's tiny. So this is only the subtlest of emulation. Mother of Pearl by roxy music is a very good song. I only use those buttons. Abalone will do in a pinch.

zero to ninety in 30 seconds flat

2010-11-26T20:23:00.000-08:00

Tweekie, my personal assistant, went ahead and uploaded these pics of me in my makeshift studio (thanks to shary!). This is the other day. I had to finish some last minute sewing which mostly included dressing a few half-dressed bunnies and snapping some snaps. ALSO! finishing up the tiniest, tiniest peanut-shaped bunnies to sit inside doll-size teacups. It's good thing I did that. They have been flying off the shelves. I love that term. Flying Off The Shelves.

My best boy pal Ian took those photos. He was making me laugh my head off. As usual. He talks in a whisper.

(please note 'rescue remedy' on table...practically been doing shot glasses of the shizz..seaweed rice crisps, oreo-shaped container for buttons...the bird-shaped scissors my aunt diane gave me and i have had to mail them to myself a hundred times from airports. i FINALLY figured out a way to smuggle scissors onto airplanes so i can sew! The fold-up scissors will go thru security...or rounded tips/kids work..esp with a case/plastic SHEATH..i got a pair at muji in japan..just saying. it's hard to get scissors onto planes!)

you MUST MUST click this link to fieldguided's blog...our beautiful collaboration of my handwriting and their hardwork and design equals MEOW BAG...BEAUTIFUL! i love them. Mew. Do you remember that book 'it's not the end of the world by judy blume? A. i love that book. B. her cat was named "Mew". a gray cat. all cats are gray. debbie harry had three gray cats. she wrote a song about one..is it 'sunday man'?

gonzo

2010-11-25T21:31:00.000-08:00

Here's my new favourite bunny print! the yellow is so beautiful with the pink backdrop. Rachelle at the lovely shop 'Hawk Eyes' on Roncesvalles put the deer aside for me for bunny purposes. I say a 'deer ride' is a very fine purpose.

You can purchase a print here.http://www.etsy.com/your_shop.php
The first day of the Oneofakind show is now over. 11 more to go. Today was fun. Many, many people love the bunnies. I just burst out laughing when i typed that. It blows my mind. It is truly surreal. For me.

BLACK BEAUTY (part 2)

2010-11-23T22:38:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to upload some prints to Etsy. Lil Black Beauty is up now and available HERE. The print is an 8X10 for $20. So please imagine the above image with more gray on either side. I love black and gray together right now. Charcoal. The primo black angora lady herself is $150. She will be also be on display shortly at the One Of A Kind show here in Toronto where I am currently being spoiled by my wonderful friends here. (i have to multi-task/hang at the same time). I'm making up for lost time since I have spent the last 2.5 (more?) months in a hermetically-sealed (dexter) room making bunnies for 12-16 hrs a day. Bracket, bracket, bracket. But I got out a bit for nature walks/daily exercise. You know...like what they let you do in jail. It was very fun.

I spent all day yesterday setting up..actually most of that time was stuck in a large U-Haul picking up stuff all over the city w/ Conan the Barbarian in the passenger's seat yelling at me (about the evils of grains, vegetable oils, ugly black 90s leather jackets as friend deal breakers, etc etc etc). It was so fun! I mean it..like hanging out with my brother. My favourite part of the day was watching JJ draping the most delicate cheesecloth/gauze in the booth..standing all over Grant's chair..i was on the floor pretty much babbling at that point..incoherent from exhaustion. BUT!!! Thanks to JJs/Conan's handmade shelves and all the other magic, the booth looks fantastic. Selena Wong helped me for the rest of the day and did her special magic. My seasonal manager PAM came in and bossed me around and made me a 'to do' list (on top of my 'to do' list), whipped everything into shape and then went onto her other job as Karen Cain's assistant at the National Ballet. These people rule.

Hopefully i'll get some booth pictures up soon. tomorrow is the first of many more very long days.

BLACK BEAUTY

2010-11-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

this is a pretty little lady. the wondrous carly waito posed and snapped her photograph.

she's wearing leopard print legwarmers, little house/laura ashley on the prairie skirt, marle gray cashmere capelet (w/ abalone button detail...i hadn't sewn the button PLUS snap on yet so it's a lazy pin job..but that's all done).

anyways. she's ready to rock and roll and she has FRIENDS!

HAWK

2010-11-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

carly waito and i had the most amazing and successful bunny photo shoot yesterday. i love working with her. some of the photos will make you cry (and laugh and then cry again). i'll include a silly one that was a 'meh' one. it's not 'meh'..it is great..just not as on the money as the others...she's wearing a HAT but it also looks like a lion's mane or..as ben said...a mullet wig (especially from the back. Business in the front/party in the back) also.
we both intuitively know which ones are the money shots* and are always in total agreement. HOW RARE.
* apologies
speaking of great collaboration! isobel campbell and mark lanegan perfection (lee and nancy)..their last album HAWK...beauteous...here is my favourite song of the past 24 hours (played on repeat)

You Won't Let Me Down Again.

Isobel is lovely (& w/ real lady's body as in: no emaciation)...cello player from belle&seb..and mark..i love his death-rasp. i met him & he is just how you would imagine him to be. i love this yin/yang collaboration. i wish the rest of the world would follow suit.

speaking of more awesome collaboration! ahlers and fieldguided. tavi and janeprattsassy.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

can this bridge cross the ocean?

2010-11-18T21:38:00.000-08:00

Doubtful.
my favourite images of the bunnies (right now) is of them
facing in this direction.

looking forward/pressing on.

& nothing getting

in the way

this is my favourite song right now In for the Kill (Skream's Let's Get Ravey remix) by la roux
(forgive that ridiculous graphic on the 'video')

cant get no

2010-11-18T02:58:00.000-08:00

arent these funny bunny pants? i guess more 'shorts trousers'...i wing this stuff as i go along and pattern nothing. so either it turns out or it doesn't turn out. but. i usually get it to turn out to my liking. somehow. make it work. or i avoid doing it at all. or i figure out another way. and then i apply these tactics to other areas in my life. the rest of my life. (my biggest pleasure during bunny production was coming to the end of a spool of thread. that was satisfaction. & watching the wrestler (& splice).

speaking of splice...hit that 'satisfaction' link for some genius Chan Marshall (& judah bauer on guitar)

processing

2010-11-16T22:09:00.000-08:00

cramming

that's called a 'Lamb Car'

this is a favourite one.

peanuts

half-done midsized bunnies

i make other art while i'm doing this. i write things down while i work. this is a photograph of an image ripped out of..something. Re-photographing. down below is some of the writing i speak of. thoughts. this is how my bookwork comes together over time. i edit a few times during the year and see what happens. it's seasonal work.

here are some good things...'stevie' art from the very great Chelsea magazine and the most recent Lightning Dust album that amber sweetly sent me plus some of her mixes. (jeremy designed the stellar cover)

oh my goodness. Old School Crew. They were inspiring me. The very first bunny i ever made, the second, the 607th and the 2,001 bun. I've lost track. can u believe how they've changed?

'we can sit here for a bit even though you're in my space'

nice mess

baby chick yellow bunnies waiting for ears.

here are bunnies that are yelling at me: WE NEED CLOTHES. i drape them for a week or so...wait to see what they *need*.
here are bunnymaking images over the past 2 months. processing. always
oh and some more inspiration that has nothing to do with bunnies but it does but it doesnt.
The Rose!

mother of murphy~!

2010-11-15T08:54:00.000-08:00

have you seen the new Vanity Fair? they plastered a marilyn monroe quote from a poem that i used in the selves..and had reservations about using her words b/c they are BEYOND vulnerable...i cant believe it! plastered across VF! it's from a poem she wrote and i've carted it around for over a decade thinking/knowing 'i have to use this somewhere'. poem fragment: help/help/help/i feel life coming closer/when all i want to do is die'.
i held onto it b/c it's shocking, sad, pathetic and why would the world's most beloved lady FEEL that way? it's like something from a 14 year old's diary.
anyways! awesome. it always feels good to feel a part of the collective consciousness and obviously this needs to get looked at.
radical!
i cant wait to read her diaries. wherever she is, i hope she is okay with all of this. maybe it's about time. it certainly is in my books.
i have to go catch a plane now! and finish packing and go pick up a poster at STAPLES (for the 5th time)
ciao bellas.
PS here is another bunny to look at. I've been making them little bill cosby-inspired sweaters. they will get jazzier with time.

My Art

2010-11-15T01:42:00.000-08:00

i'm tidying up my computer before i leave for a month & found this gold. i made this (unedited) gem 3 yrs ago when i first came to the yukon..sitting at my desk working on random book, turned around and captured MARVIN preening to Prism's "Spaceship Superstar"
i recommend FULL SCREEN

invasion of the body snatchers.

2010-11-14T15:07:00.000-08:00

dear friend

hi.
here are some more recent bunnies to look at. when i put the grey fur 'hat' on the big bunny, i started laughing. hard. that will happen. it looks like a wig but then it's a hat. what do you think? Ben thought 'Anna Karenina' which i thought apt b/c there is other Russian influence in some of the other 'looks' (plus that's my lineage. at some point). I added a dusty lavender cape with very antique pearl button detail and leopard print maxi skirt to 'explorer guy/elvis wig'...so suddenly 'he' became a 'she'. this has been a bit of an issue in this final stretch of CLOAKING the bunnies. at times leaving me beside myself. with confusion. (i was forced to make a pair of knickers for a bunny who refused to become a girl). So much of my work is putting together a puzzle...i do all this work somewhat blindly and (somehow trusting the process) but no matter what, the final stretch is always piecing together the puzzle..making sense of the work..and self-editing which is almost impossible but i force myself to do it.

the "peepers" look like pods right now. like invasion of the body snatchers or SPLICE (i just watched that movie! it's so good. totally entertaining).

the bunnies have been insisting on legwarmers. (leopard print black w/ slate grey)
photos of which are floating around somewhere.

i am exhausted.

'getting there'

2010-11-12T15:59:00.000-08:00

not to be confused with 'Being There' or.............this

'roll with'

2010-11-11T17:37:00.000-08:00

chester went to live in los angeles (w/ Entourage). lucky duck! he was a custom order and what you dont see, is what you dont see...cos..see..underneath his hyper-furred out SWEATER*, were some tiny gray woolly ballz. i'll leave it at that. so basically, he's ballin'...in LA.

i'm listening MISS POTTER (in the background). ewan mc just said to beatrix/zellwegggeredd 'cry face':

'You and rabbits!! Extraordinary!'

~~i'm like the metal version of miss potter. that was a JOKE. i grew up on SCTV.~~

* so i take a sweater made from angora (bunny) and then i make a bunny and THEN i make a sweater for the bunny from the sweater made of bunny. That's like MATRIX META.

~~(all i want to do right now is talk about THE WRESTLER but i need to get back to work).~~

PS thank you to Kerri Reid for sending me THIS GOLD. As far as i'm concerned this is (my) high art. My favourite band (heart) performing @ 'dancing with the stars' and those dancers dancing to barracuda. 'i had to turn my heart away'.

which reminds me: i dreamt last night i survived a plane crash. it was an old 70s conchord flight occupied by fashionistas. they all died. there were 4 survivors: me, meesoo lee, random and a publisher from england that i was in communicado with.

o, if u only knew

2010-11-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

my laptop feels like it is about to explode.

here is a little bit of *radio* w/ BitchMedia. Heather Leighton interviewed me across the country in September and now it's up. There are other good interviews on there. Recommended! as they like to say nowadays.

I am in 'Bunny Nightshift Lockdown'.

Sasha Dolls

2010-10-06T04:48:00.001-07:00

I love Sasha dolls. That logo/font/photo/catalogue design makes me swoon. The Swiss know how to do it Right. When Sasha died, she requested for all the molds to be broken. Legend has it. Maybe I just made it up. All molds should be broken. Molds are made to be broken.

"Sasha Morgenthaler designed her dolls with a 'dream' in her mind - a vision of how a children would look and move in the age of innocence".

"Sasha dolls are characterized by a serious, open expression that seems to make them more adaptable to imaginative play than if they were forever smiling".

"Morgenthaler's original idea was for the dolls to represent an image of universal childhood, so from the beginning of mass-production, the vinyl was coffee-coloured so that they would not appear to belong to any one ethnic group. In the early 1970s, black dolls were introduced, first in an extremely dark complexion, then in a lighter complexion in the latter part of the decade. Around 1980, the "skin tone" of most of the "Caucasian" dolls was lightened".

That's Thurston and his daughter Coco up @ the top (I'm still on my SY jag). She has a fierce bunny. I sent one to Rita Ackermann and she wrote and said, 'Coco stole it'.

She was just tiny @ the time. It's all flattery.

I just spent the last idontevenknowhowlong salvaging a bunny. Hundreds and hundreds of ('why?')fixing up stitches only to be wrapped in fur. I played this game alot as a child. It's called 'Superfection'.
I can't just let these things go. I was born and raised a Salvager.
But. I can let everything else go.
Or try.
Die trying.

xo

The End Of Things/"I'm Making A Crazy Quilt And I Want Your Face for the Centre"

2010-10-04T22:14:00.001-07:00

I like looking at the back of things and the end of things. A thousand leaves means leaving a thousand times. (end credits can give you book titles).
I love this cover of 'broken english' that was played at the end of the movie of same title (the synths especially awsm). The movie is decent. The love interest is sublime. The leading lady is parker posey. The director is a Cassavettes (zoe). The lovely Gena Rowlands has a supporting role. She was in THE NOTEBOOK! (another cassavettes). What's your take?

the 'crazy quilt' quote in the header was a show Ulla Von Brandenburg did. I. love. it. Go look at the slideshow for my current favourite art. The title alone is straight up The Show.
I've been researching shivs lately.
I have no idea why i'm on the computer. i have a billion things to do right now til Christmas. No end in sight.
Yes. An end is in sight.
The End.

See Grown Many Men Cry/Tear Bottles/Sunday/Mondo

2010-10-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

New friend! Thanks, Chelsea...you and my friend ALISSA made my day today. it was a good day already but you made it..gooder.

on my walk i came up with an idea...An Important And Necessary Idea. Elaine wrote in an email 2 dys ago re. PROJ RUN = Cryfest. I had to wait for surfthechannel to get that sh*t up online so i could stream it...which meant 2 days of 'Not MONDO!'..but Mondo continues to slay. but CRYFEST. that's my point. I'm going to organize a CRYFEST. All male Boys2MEN ONLY. only boys need apply. So i'm the organizer and it's going to be an All Male Cry Fest*

I have to do some research. there were quite a few NINETIES books..male sensitivity..like 'fire in the belly:on being a man and IRON JOHN: a book about men'..buncha stuff like that. i need to read those. or knowing me, flip through, get the gist and take it back to the library or make a my book sculptures.(currently only doing VC Andrews books b/c those need to leave the planet..or firestarter).

so till i get research and backing, CRY FEST (all male except for lady organizers/those who corral) and get paid the big bucks allowed.
*we can have those victorian tear bottles...fill them Men Tears and we'll have a Man Made Lake and we will dump all those tears in and then we can go wading or at least get the tip of our big toe wet! we'll need all the men (and boymen)

if you know me
you know i'm being silly
but if you dont know me by now
you will never, ever, ever
really know me

A girl can dream.

xo

i sure get alot of work done when i am procrastinating

2010-09-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

prepare to be mesmerized. this is brilliant. thank you Penpal James! you are the best.

PS. I have had many, many, many penpals over the years and James is King Penpal. NO ONE can compete with him. There have been times i have received 3 or 4 pieces of mail from him in ONE WEEK. (a decade or so ago he cleared shop in berkeley/shutdown a zine distro 'wow cool' and sent me 10 boxes of zines & records & things). That was...a scene from a movie...like a good version of 'reality bites'. Plus he sends presents..like 'Sonny Angels'.

We've never even met!

A psychic heart go round to you My prayer to you Is that you do all the things you set out to do

2010-09-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

i could fill a gallery with my love for PSYCHIC HEARTS by thurston moore. that's my occasional anthem. Sampled: 'live your life the way you love'/what the hell/summer spell/losers/*ssholes/SUCK ALL THE LUCK/Out of the world the world for you
If i can get it back to you i will etc. (i'm writing this in chalk on my wall)

Phone convo (see 'work face'/not hot foto above feminist thurston):

'Ok so you want this bunny guy sent out? He's ready. You're at your Singapore address? ok michelle. roger that. he's going out tomorrow STAT with lynx fur capelet'.

"Your heart is ripped now wrapped in fur"

i have a real potato chip on my shoulder...i mean, a fierce bunny eating a ripple potato chip on my shoulder.

*Michelle is one of my top bunny collectors. she sends me messages via iphone & we hash out the details. Custom. Pimpin' her ride. She's great.

PS thanks Kerri Reid for
reminding me it was YOU who said I reminded her of the best coast girl. vice versa vice. sometimes. i forget. and thanks lyndsay sung for comments...and always SUZY!!!!

PPS Thurston is wearing a GZA shirt. Game Recognize Game.

hi michael hi bichon frise

2010-09-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

here's some ART. buddy shary has a huge show at the AGO. GO if you are in the toronto area (it will also be in vancouver and montreal later in time).

and here are images from lucas soi's new blog ARTAFTERMONEY (i love the name). He's documenting shows in and around vancouver. ya lucas! bring that!...so yes...also photographs from SEA CHANGE which is a group show he curated with work by me and other artists who are female.

the bichon frise is really my friend nadiya's alter ego.

i'm in robot mode. Tweekie's in the shop. Tweekie (sic) is the real robot and my own peronsal Personal Assistant. When Tweekie returns to work he will have an inbox from hell (not unlike obama's day after inauguration).

PS my friend james sent me a link to this Best Coast video. It's silly and adorable. i think someone said the girl reminded them of me. when ppl say things like that, the inclination is Go Check It Out. i guess i can see that if i squint my eyes. she's a cool girl so that is a nice compliment. Also, I like the name of their band. Good name.

the shelves

2010-09-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

'the selves' is pictured in a portrait of Tavi (fashion blogger of universe) in this week's NEW YORKER (Sept 20)! It's on her bookshelf at home. The Shelves.

see her collage sculpture she made.

2010-08-31T02:19:00.000-07:00

The top painting is called Pain by Emile Friant. I saw it in the movie I'VE LOVED YOU SO LONG. A truly beautiful movie. I wont give it away. I'm basically counting the seconds till i can see I AM LOVE (with the amazing Tilda Swinton).

i'm still working on my book. i made headway today when it was decided (with a second party/soundboard) to put my DEATH folder away for awhile.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND PICTURES OF ROBIN?

2010-08-27T00:35:00.000-07:00

Robin is my favourite Muppet. He is Kermit's nephew - a kind and clever kid who sometimes feels unnoticed because of his small size. Robin likes to spend time with his uncle.

Robin debuted in the 1971 (a very important year) TV special The Frog Prince, as a prince-turned-to-frog. Although he made a few appearances on The Muppet Show's first season, his relationship to Kermit was not established until episode 212, in which Bernadette Peters encouraged him to believe in himself by singing "Just One Person."

(that video clip just blew my mind. Bernadette is my new style icon. check out THAT hair!)

Robin had a HIT SONG in the UK with his rendition of A. A. Milne's "Halfway Down the Stairs," which appeared on the first Muppet Show album in 1977. Robin also sang on several more episodes including episode 312 when he sang "Octopus' Garden" and episode 223 where he sang "Two Lost Souls" with Sweetums.

Gaga wore the Kermie jacket (slightly tacky/raver sh*t but then..that's all back)..here's some META for you..Jim Henson* made the original Kermit puppet by hacking up one of his mother's coats* (and added a cut in half ping pong ball for eyes). Basically, Jim Henson invented everything on Etsy.
The Meta: jacket on coat on jacket.

See. Lady Gaga is the second coming replete with spiritual guides and ALL.

(see latest VF. so much good copy! who knows if it's even true but awesome Gaga quotes galore (the rest of the issue sucks. all ads!))

Thanks to Robin McConnell for the Inkstuds radio interview today. on CiTR out of Vancouver (Home of the 2010 Winter Olympics).

I was testing out my skype headphones and microphone during the live interview and i sound like i'm out in the bush on a walkie talkie. It was fun!

oh sh*t speaking of MUPPET..here comes MARVIN! he keeps wanting to go outside and it's pitchblack..like i'm going to let the persian champagne-coloured caterpillar out into the wilderness! Now he's mad at me.

*Henson fellow libra. same birthday as me that's september 24. mark it on your calender. i like presents.
*30-odd years later, i followed in his footsteps (as though possessed) hacking up an angora sweater and made a bunny etc etc

Twiki Versus Gordon 'I dont create. I own' Gekko

2010-08-25T01:49:00.000-07:00

i never watched that buck rogers (no thank you) but i sure love TWEEKIE!!!!

i was doing some extremely important TWIKI research a few months back and FINALLY i have time to share my finds! I'm changing the spelling of his name to TWEEKIE. (@ once point i was convinced it was 'Twinkie' which is also great).

I just watched that movie GREENBERG. it's funny. there are some CHOICE MOMENTS in it (trailer doesnt show that) jennifer jason lee and noah baumbach are world's greatest couple. husband wife movie making peoples. aspiration & inspiration. together at last. The especially CHOICE moments forced me to email my EX-boyfriend cos i'm like: 'we had that conversation about 30 times' the 1987 wall street/charlie sheen 'who am i?' conversation..as well as acted it out, photographed it, re-enacted and discussed an installation piece around it in the mid-200000s..if only i had a TWEEKIE. Tweekie would help me get all my work done. TWEEKIE could be my personal assistant and i'd never feel guilty. Tweekie would've made my WALL STREET ART in 2004.

i cant find the 'who am i?' part but i'll leave you with this GREED IS GOOD speech. In case you are ever wondering why everything is falling into hell. In case you are wondering what it's like to be standing in a pair of rollerskates at the top of a frozen waterfall.

speaking of frozen..it's freaking tweekie FREEZING Up Here. Geezus murphy. My friends all back east are sunburning and stuff & i'm gells. I'm wearing 4 layers of clothing (plus drinking soup and tea for breakfast and sleeping with heating pad and hot water bottle and parked in the sauna/steamroom @ the aquatic centre etc etc) YET still eating ice cream cones at home with cold hands (current obsession. will end STAT) b/c i Just Can't Seem To Let Go Of Summer. All i want is: Next Summer.

This is hilarious

2010-08-24T03:16:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to figure out what this is (see below)..i found it on 'boot tips ("Boots Talks for Women And Men). i'm afraid to add the link in case something bad happens. The spelling errors and bad grammar is incredible. This is probably the best "SELVES" review on record.
btw... that's the famous TOTAL HELL cake from the Montreal booklaunch at the amazingly wonderful Drawn And Quarterly bookstore. Peggy got it. I almost fell over when i saw it. There are some photographs floating around of me holding the cake. It was very heavy. I couldn't get over it. I never will. (thanks to Andrea Gin for throwing this image up on her flickr thingie).

Now here's the incredible literature:

Sonja Ahlers’ living novel takes over effeminacy and celebrity

Writers and artists Sonja Ahler said the title of the book publishing, self, came to her watching TV, 1976, west bill movie starring Sally field as a woman and multiple personality.
I always watch the end credits of movies, recalls Ahlers from her home in Whitehorse. And the personalities in the credits were billed as the Selves. And I was sitting with my then-boyfriend, and we both looked at each other and said, That should be the book title.
It is the right of the television and movie some may reject the book as useless Ahlers inspired. Use text and image of the self, gathered in a scrapbook diary – style, from the lowest and highest culture, to create a composite image formation in North America, the white women born in the 1970s and 1980s. For example, a quotation by dead poets Annie club* (” woman is her mother. This is the main thing “) is followed by a photo collages princess Diana and drew Barrymore children.
Each celebrity or icon of women in the book representing a different self, not only representing female experience, and more important is the potential of the public image of the interface and private.
The unique design of the book is like a slide in the conversation as anthropology a group of prehistoric ancestors left traces of only exists. But instead of cave drawings and bow, we get the pithy clips, for example, from gloria. ’s article about Marilyn Monroe or watercolour portrait and ASHLEY olsen consistent. It is the self that is written by the poetic fragment of modification and moving from Ahlers line drawing. She described as a “collective biography of self, or a population generation.”

POST-SCRIPT: i'm considering a dramatic reading of this brilliance. I may need to write a play around it.

*Anne Sexton

She Speaks For The Freaks

2010-08-23T01:08:00.000-07:00

Hi. Remember me? I've been On The Road (got to p. 3 of that book b4 tossing it aside) for the last three months & am settling back into my ultra boring routine of life here in the Yukon Territory. Hip hip hooray! I get to recuperate from a three month rollercoaster ride! Life's so awesome! Love it! The SELVES book tour was FUN. I hope to have some highlights up...soon. My life isn't really that boring here..it's a uh..retreat. Things come to a screeching halt. I am forced to deal with major transition overnight. Summer to winter in twenty-four hours. I get alot of work accomplished here.

I have REAMS of writing from the rollercoaster. The Stacks. And piles from before. That means: new book. So I've been writing (in the way that i..write) and my inspirations are all above. Not Blair Warner per se (but LOVE her hair. bring that) and not susan dey (per se). They just came up when i was image hunting for SEXTON, PLATH AND DICKINSON. Hereon known as S.P.D. or D.P.S....maybe 'D' first because she influenced the others. All witches from Massachusetts. ('Witches Not Bitches').

As of late, I've been especially inspired by Plath's poetry from 1962 which is Marilyn Monroe's death year (1926-1962) and one year before Plath's own (age 30!!!). What if they were FRIENDS? i love poetry. I TRULY want people to appreciate poetry. Nowadays you have to kind of trick people into liking it by adding nice pictures to look at or music to tap your foot to. Today there are more choices to express One's Poetry. Example: you can be Eminem and rap that sh*t.

Emo-nem. I still cant decide if i totally hate him or WHAT? I made a decision recently that anyone who confuses me HAS TO GO..but i cant make my mind up w/ Emo-nem. I appreciate (!??) his honesty and candor and I relate to his need of expressing anger (crucify me now). I'm white. He's white...dude had 5 YEARS of writer's block & an addiction to sleeping pills & a million other problems that he shares with the universe (awesome) but he BEATS THAT. Recovery. When he's rapping he does NOT come up for air/spares no expense/word word word/rhyme/rhyme/rhyme/LUNGS...he'll do/say something vaguely interesting and then 2 minutes later he fks it up again. 'i dont need swine flu/to be a sick pig'). He surprises b/c I'd written him off long ago as a FratJock/Abuser but he defies categorization and gets brownie points for Prick Originality. (Will he ever get that look off his face? Doubtful). I like ONE song of his right now b/c i need a guilty pleasure while i'm taking a break from DICKINSON, PLATH AND SEXTON..it's 'wont back down' which came up by accident when i was stealing some other music off the world wide web...he ripped off the freaking ALLMAN BROTHERS 'WHIPPING POST' which is one of my favourite songs discovered from a Freaks And Geeks episode years back when i was too far into my 70s rock phase)....and then he has PINK singing along to synths & percussion and clashing cymbals.

the big 'love the way you lie' has a seriously messed and disturbing video. i dont even know what to say/where to start. i had to turn it off. that's what i'm talking about: megan fox/charlie from LOST, rhianna, duffle bags/hitting the road/domestic abuse/loving someone so much you want to kill them? Wazzat?

You Need to spare us.

now did you truly think i'd go all maudlin and write about my favourite lady poets without screwing it up w/ some eminem?

thought not.

speaking of ripping off and stealing...Madonna stole an Anne Sexton poem and passed it off as her own. apparently. it's worth the jump to the link just to see haggardness. i guess that's where the word 'hag' comes from.

I love poetry.
(i do like contemporary poetry. it just has to be REALLY GOOD is all).

Still Catching Up Here/Endless Love

2010-07-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

Here are some interviews i have done in the last month.

this one is for the excellent WORN MAGAZINE. I am babbling about my idea of fashion:

Me Babbling About Fashion (which is kind of a hilarious concept)

One where I'm kind of emo/very exposing with Anne Elizabeth Moore

& one with the TORONTOIST with Dave Howard where we talked a bit about advertising and such

In other news, I'm about to hit the road AGAIN: here, here, here and HERE and the back again. I need a motor home.

And in other other news, I've been re-watching ENDLESS LOVE (1981) on youtube. That freaking movie!!! It's nuts. It was directed by Franco Zeffirelli who was also responsible for the 1968 Romeo And Juliet. This is basically a "modern version" of that: two teenagers so in love...they fall behind in their studies, brooke shields cant sleep, her bohemian family finally puts their foot down with DAVID who seems to have courted them all (weird confusion between the mother and DAVID. There's a scene where the mother spies on the teenagers 'making the love' in front of the fireplace IN THE LIVINGROOM of the family home. The cool doctor dad goes crazy on them and forbids them to see each other for 30 days. David can't go on (a scene of him in his room blasting 'i was made for loving you' by KISS. His mother does not understand. I wont give away the plot but it gets gnarly. If you dont want to know, dont read the next sentence. Basically there's a house fire and a psychiatric ward involved. Endless Love. I'm telling you. Dangereuse!

I have TWO COPIES of the soundtrack. I've also taken photographs of the TV screen while watching it (images of David wearing a sporty shirt with the jesus death year number 33. he's trying to ride his drop handle bike free style and looks truly gimped). I noticed this time around David and I have the same image of SATURN on our walls (from old National Geographic). Lots of planetary references. He wants to name a star after JADE (aka Brooke Shields).

James Spader plays the brother and a very gross young Tom Cruise has a slimy bit part. Ugh. He was so gross as a teenager. And as an...adult...now.

It's an awesome movie and you watch is here for free! If you're bored and need to do some work in front of your computer. Or want to have your MIND BLOW and a broken brain. It's a great movie.

major ketchup. major catsup. need to majorly CATCH UP

2010-07-12T10:15:00.001-07:00

(i dont even like ketchup)
a million 'blog-worthy' moments has happened in the last 3 months..i was too busy living them that blogging them. i could use a blog intern. i could use a doppleganger..i could use five of them: 'go do that in the yukon, while i do this in montreal'. etc etc etc.

i'll be back on it shortly.

miss you. stay tuned.
xoxoxooxox

PS that Lennon 'Mindgames' album art was brought to you by my EX BF who i was having a visit with the other night. more like: MINDFK. AND DONT ASK ME HOW but he tried to save it to my desktop (how was he even on my computer? oh yes. we were youtubing tom petty & GOWAN videos) and MINDGAMES is still there but it's all pixilated and knowing me it'll stay there for the next 2 years b/c i 'cant be bothered' to change it/wont get around to it...or until i find My Blog Intern.

the pic of me is kinda sic but it went up by accident so it stays. Because right now everything in my life is an accident.

PPS wouldn't it be so nice to find a love like the love John and Yoko shared? It's a fantasy. It's a double fantasy. I dont believe it exists. I want to believe it exists but with my track record - it dont.

For me, my art always comes first...but then again...double fantasy: they were able to make art together and were inspired by each other to make more art. Mindgames.
xo

PS and if i were you, i'd hit that GOWAN link. It's making me cry right now.

"Don't Judge A Booklaunch By Its Poster"

2010-06-08T07:32:00.001-07:00

That's a very hilarious poster Seth Scriver made (& the subject line quote is by him). The image is a result of what all of our art would look like if combined @ our Triple Book Launch (details below)

The Top poster was made by STO at CINDERS. What a great poster. Thanks STO.

okay!!! going on Part 3 of a book tour tomorrow at the crack of dawn. my favourite time of day! Help me.
Here is how you can help me:
If you or anyone you know or want to know is in Chicago and/or New York please pass on this information! we would love that:

The SELVES – Sonja Ahlers
BOOK TOUR
CHICAGO/NEW YORK (Part Three)

CHICAGO! June 11th 7pm @ Quimby's Books
(slideshow/talk/presentation) with ANNE ELIZABETH MOORE!!
1854 W. North Avenue
Chicago, IL 60622
Tel. 773/342-0910
http://www.quimbys.com/

and a booksigning at Printer's Row on the 12th (12-1pm)

NEW YORK!
Cinders Gallery Tuesday, June 15 (slideshow/talk)
103 Havemeyer St. Store #2
Brooklyn, NY 11211
718.338.2311
www.cindersgallery.com

and parked outside will be NAM PSYCHE JUNE
& other fun stuff..like a bbq

NEW YORK AGAIN!
Desert Island Wednesday, June 16
with Keith Jones and Seth Scriver for another launch
7-9pm
540 Metropolitan Ave.
Brooklyn, NY
718.388.5087
http://www.desertislandbrooklyn.com/

i think i'm going to be on the radio tomorrow

2010-06-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

I love the CBC!

i better get some sleep so i can get my radio head on...woah..where'd that come from? i'm in MONTREAL. yah! lighters up!

my friend's sister (my friend, too) who lives at the family condo answered the door with a fancy camera strapped to her neck cos she'd been out back taking photos of her friend modeling vintage clothing for etsy. natch-ur-ally ( just wrote that word on twitter re a blog dedicated to bea arthur/mountains/pizza). "Natch" is one of the worst words ever. lazy ass cant say the other two syllables.

ALSO! i just had a great train trip from TO to Montreal. It's possible to sit next to someone incredible. I haven't had such a great trip partner since I met Leah Singer on the bus going from NY to Montreal back in, like, 1992. I'm still hoarse from talking for 5hours straight.

So i was wandering around Montreal in a daze even though i just had TWO 'artisan coffees' (@ Cafe Myriade)...like wandering up rue st. catherine (am staying around the corner on GUY)...& i went into urban outfitters (!?) in a sleep dep state..trying on sunglasses (not bad) and looking at shoes (some kawaii (Japanese for cute but u knew that))...i haven't been in a U.O since maybe 2006...damn they have a lot of JUNK...their 'homewares/lifetyle section'...that's serious landfill. I felt embarrassed.

but there were some nice clothes. a few.

i went next door to an independently owned SPORTWEAR STORE and was chatting with the shopgirl (i was a shopgirl and i just re-watched that movie so it's on my mind. it's not condenscensionsation) who ran after me and asked if i was DUTCH b/c she had a bet with her boss. We chatted for awhile and i, in sleep dep, ballsily asked: If i bought a few pairs of Converse, would i be able to get a deal? Generally i would NEVER do this. Dickering gives me hives..but there were a few colours (like 'linen' and 'taupe' and mayb teal) i needed..she said 'oh ya! come back when my husband is working at such and such a time and he'll give you a deal for sure. i'll tell him tonite. He's Muslim and he's a runner'.

Yah Montreal..get to go hang out in you tomorrow.

xo
thanks Maurice Vellekoop for the Diana image and Sea of Tea for the angora bunny....the holder of the bunny escapes me and i cant find it in my email but it's someone important.
that's Marilyn Monroe. It was her birthday yesterday (now all i seem to do is go to d-listed and borrow michael K's images...he does all the work. damn he's my favourite. not true. i just got the MM)...

that's also miss pamela des barres up there. i had an awful Twitter faux pas the other day. I mindlessly wrote:

Pamela Des Barres is constantly posting about her yard sales & ebay posts. This is the sh*t i learn on Twitter.

i actually meant to not send it and it was really just an observation. Because i follow her on Twitter, i guess her name showed up in the feed??? or maybe she follows me but there was a message '@fiercebunnies' (me) which shocked me and it read:

'I've only had one yard sale this year!'

i was horrified and felt horrible. My pal Lisa pointed it out: instant karma.
i fully got the definition loud and clear. I think because i was already having a super horrible day, it was just the cherry on top.

Again, i only meant it as an observation but it came out sounding not nice and potentially not nice. Of course i'm into Miss Pamela! and i'd totally go to her garage sale. She's a minister and does rock and roll weddings. I'd hire her. But I'd rather my friend Lisa Smolkin performed the wedding cos she's my friend. Why do i speak of weddings? i dont even have a boyf...and i dont even think about such matters. I think it's b/c it's a typical girl thing (of me) to do and i would like to continue debunking these myths (to myself). Lady Diana only dreamed of getting married. I dont recommend this.

how is that for a train of thought?
xo

BORN FREE

2010-05-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

One of my side projects is a BAND. This is ongoing. Ongoing with a seven year break here and there (17). BODY DOUBLE is in the studio. We're jamming in the studio. We are hemorrhaging cash (i love it when ppl say that. it's very 90s..it's like: "he was on a steady diet of fillintheblank', 'he was on a steady diet of fugazi' & so forth.

speaking of fugazi (awesome) M.I.A.!!!
they have awsm in common! yah! (awsm. new vanity license plate).

i finally got around to watching her latest video. oh ya. that kicks *SS on 'telephone'. it makes 'telephone' look like a mcdonald's commercial/hallmark card/tarantino knock-off of a knock-off.

D-Listed:

Oh, M.I.A. where have you and your ******** tongue been all my life? I just want to miniaturize myself so that I can sit on M.I.A.'s bottom lip and give her words of cuntery a quick hug before they come flying out of her mouth.

Last month, the ever-so-crazy M.I.A. flicked Lady Gaga's urethra when she said she "isn't progressive." And in a new interview with The New York Times, M.I.A. once again yanked at Gaga's tuck with this:

“With our video, we were really copying ‘Telephone'. Both our videos are road movies. We kill people, and they kill people. They start out in a prison, and we start out in a squat, hunting people down...... I can’t talk about Gaga anymore. All I’ll say is, it’s upsetting when babies say ga-ga now. It used to be innocent. Now, they’re calling her name.
You can’t really say that Gaga is culturally a change. Madonna was truly unique."
Here is BORN FREE. If you haven't watched it (like me. i've been busy with my book)..just to warn you: it's super heavy.
She is a total genius.

I totally would've gone to Grace Zabriskie's book launch for her new book called POEMS. She is also awsm.
things are great. Everyone is being really nice to me. thanks for popping by!
xoxo

I JUST LIKE TO LOOK AT THE PICTURES

2010-05-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

Up Above: those are some selves and you know it: Bette Davis when she was so, so young..a different self of her later self (Hi. All About Eve. One of my all-time favourite movies.There is a book called All About All About Eve which I need to read), Jerri Blank/Amy Sedaris, and...one of the flower children from my very old book from the turn-of-the-century.
"Jerri" is another Brooke N. masterpiece.

Robert Dayton's Karaoke Klarification:

Roxy Music- Virginia Plain, Stories- Brother Louie, Bee Gees-Lonely days.

Thank goodness I know! The Brother Louie song he did was killer. Random strangers started dancing. Robert is so great at setting a mood in a room.

(I think there is going to be some krazy karaoke actiono this Sunday. It's a long weekend which makes no difference in my life except that everyone else goes all crazy. so yes. that does affect my life cos usually i'm running for the hills on these occasions).

I just spent the last 12 hours working on my website. As per my 'tweet', it was like teaching Jerri Blank how to read at age 48. Sort of. Jason instructed me. I think he was impressed? I was learning faster than that. It was only a glimmer of Jerri trying to spell 'cat'. A flash. Okay so I'm ready to do your website now. Okay not. Like: ZERO TIME. I think I asked J-dogg a YEAR ago to help me with my website. That's how long it's been. I think the only way it could've been done is if..guess what? I do it myself. Do-it-myself with instructor standing behind me telling me what to do every step of the way.

Ya..iweb! that's it! This is total barebones and the home page is a f'n mess. We had to start somewhere. This is a work-in-progress and I seem to do this often enuff in public. Work. Half Getting There.

Oh so here are the BAREBONES:

http://sonjaahlers.com

I was at Conan the Barbarian's for about 12 hours working on this. The working was disrupted often b/c of intermittent 'career counselling' going on. We were doing a work trade.

I'm a perfectionist so please dont laugh at the website. I just had to get SOMETHING UP. It looks like I'll be working on it for awhile. But finally. How liberating. I can do this myself.

It needs alot alotta work.

Newsflash of the week: i'm hoping hope hope this happens but Marisa Meltzer may pass on "The Selves" to TAVI. It's funny. I dont read Tavi's blog very often b/c i dont have alot of time but hers is one i definitely like to check and yes. she's a genius. A Pez collector with a Gerhard Richter book on her shelf (I once saw one of his paintings in the real and wept). She ceases to amaze. i think she was listening to obscure Irish folk songs a coupla months back. doesn't really end, does it? Those 'sick as hell' Gap wedges she just posted..ya i was cruising around looking for those. as in: WANT. (i cant seem to locate my KORK-EASE w/ all my constant moving & shuffling so these could suffice?) So ya. weird. She just did a huge post on Sassy's and 2 days ago i FINALLY got my hands on 'How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter To The Greatest Teen Magazine Of All Time'. COS u know it changed mine! Interesting parallels. Universe can unite sometimes. Okay..all the time. New New Age. I'm about ready to pass out. I thank Tavi for photographing the pages b/c that's what I really need to look at right now.

can i possibly be any more of a late bloomer? possibly?

Typo Of The Week: The Shelves

"I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl/WITHOUT BEING DISRESPECTFUL"

2010-05-19T23:24:00.000-07:00

i'm super embarrassed to like THIS SONG...(if u hit that link, dont watch the video. it's smut. it will rot your brain). I first heard it in Whitehorse on the car radio while Ben and I were @ Raven Recycling. You drive your sh*t down there and you sort it yourself. I love it (except when it's 30-below). So that stupid song came on and i'm all: What's this? (said in interest piqued question).

I heard it yesterday while I was picking up a few things in Kensington Market..even pretended to shop for some camo(flage) but was secretly just listening to that STUPID SONG.

the lyrics are out.of.hand.
out of control..of the hand.

so THEN! out of the blue, Elisa karaokes IT that last nite. I had a lil mini freakout/laughing my head OFF..DAMN GIRL she did a good job. it's sooooo much better when a ladychick sings it. Naturally.OBVS. It should only be sung by a feemail.

dude's trying to be 'respectful' in his song and with his lyrics but ya right. falls so very, very short. Nice try.
I've been texting Elisa all day: DAMN GIRL. hahahahaha.

Robert 'Genius' Dayton performed two Roxy Music songs...old ones. Pajamarama. Obviously Awesome.

I've been watching season 2 of UNITED STATES OF TARA. I do very much like that show. They are referencing SYBIL even more so...Tara is trying to do her REAL ART now...and a character played by Viola Davis said:

YOU MAKE ART WITH ALL OF YOUR SELVES.

I thought that to be so great. Tara, again has dissociative identity disorder (aka DID). This is the new term. Schizophrenia was taken back years ago. So yes, Tara makes art with all of her selves. Ya! Sometimes I'm just on the money! Usually i'm so far ahead i'm behind. Maybe I just slowed down. It must be all the MIRE. It must be the molasses.

BTW, doesn't most of the world suffer from this? Identity crises? That's what I thought.

PS I want to send my book to Diablo Cody. I guess i could send her a twitter message. She's still one of the more interesting people to follow on Twitta. She's funny. She's WITH CHILD.

Speaking of funny..i was cruising around last nite in a ratty pink rabbit fur jacket pulled spontaneously out elisa rose's closet...i can feel the screaming rabbits thru the layers. this is not good. i have funny feelings about fur and if it's THERE it's THERE and all you can do it pay RESPECT TO IT...but sometimes..i can feel it..and what happened..before.

Oh yea! I posted THE SELVES on Etsy so it is up for sale through me directly. This way you get a signed copy and an inside look at my world class perfect wrap job and maybe I'll throw in a few other things. AND you can see your name all done up in my HANDSCRIPT. Damn girl! YAH! YOU KNOW that buying a book directly from me is the best way to go if you are an individual person..from one friend to the next. If you are store, you go the distro route.

PS the PAN PIPE is from my old boyfriend Mike Gabel. He says he is obsessed with panpipes right now and has discovered all these panpipe cover tune compilations. wtf? He just performed his Hot Breath Karaoke routine at the Tate Modern....one of my zines was lying around there as well (yes, on the floor of the Tate Modern...that's: zine). Thanks to Caitlin Jones and the Western Front!
For more information on this project NO SOUL FOR SALE, read THIS.

Installation @ Magic Pony

2010-05-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

Let's Start! O good. The entrance way is papered. I prefer if no one watches me work. I also wear headphones to block out all sound. There is very little documentation of me working and it's either total consternation on my face or the back of my head while I face the wall.
Surveying the room. Those are my lavender boots..getting more and more destroyed as the days go by (thanks Toronto!) Vinyl not on the wall yet. Let's make it final/put it on vinyl! (just one of my song lyrics)
WHERE to start? it's best to lay everything out and assess. Synopsis: go the lady route/etsy and COLOUR BLOCK. That's Stevie Nicks with banger hair doing ballet. Probably my two favourite things together at last. Can u see her?
see..laying out. fortunately there is the awesome wood slab on wheels in the Magic Pony gallery (so that i may spread out).
The other view of The Slab
There's that cat!
That cat gets mileage. Perhaps she is watching down on alla this.
Kristin Weckworth modelling a new Barbapapa apron! She has the best last name. EPIC.
I'm really into the floor.

I printed out hundreds of pages from the book while i was working on it. I'm a recycler since birth but I eased up on my strict Recycling Regime while i was slaving away..of course i keep everything so what you see here are those rejected sheets. Wasting paper. Wasting inks. But not really cos i made this from the detritus.
I'm obsessed with cheesecloth right now. Two words that shouldn't go together. C.C is so beautiful. I am in love with it. Hundreds of threads barely held together. Feels like nothing. I was draping it over furniture...like ergonomic office chair (aka hideous to look at).Unveiling the Veil. "That Was My Veil" by PJ Harvey & John Parish. A rare track I've been overlistening to. Back to C.Cloth... thrilling to toss over those pages on the floor. I topped it off with a pinky silver glitter. More thrills. (wait. nothing i do is tossed. i probably spent an hour carefully laying it over and adjusting/re-adjusting).
details. boots. walking.
Hard to see, right? That's the veil abstracting/diffusing.

Jerri Blank...by bwookie nechvatel.
On the other wall! a dtl here of random dimes. The queen side face up. decided to move up to dimes. i usually work with pennies. funny. i missed the pennies. almost ran out to get more and add to the other side of this wall collage but i was running out time and my gummy stuff to affix them to the wall. I am very into change.
No veil. If i ever get married, i'll wear a cheesecloth veil. Pfffffffffffft!
Other side...META meta collage. Metatarsal.

Kind of an inverted triangle. working downwards. I need to go back and take more detail shots b/c i was working with the light and placing 'shiny things'/metallics/glitter under those hot lights and this isn't documented. That was my favourite part.
but just to let you know i've been doing something. just to let myself know i've been doing something.

I like installation work. I've been making them since i was three years old.
I'm going to make an appointment to see the dentist now.
xo

Nikki's Selves/Madonna Shoe

2010-05-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

found this on Tumblr. I love this beautiful extraction of The Selves by Nikki. It is precisely (one of) the reason why i do any of this..so others can find themselves in the work i put out there...a blank screen for the reader's/viewer's projection:

Childhood, pop culture and the feminine. Holly Hobby. Babies. Kittens. Princess Diana. The Olsen twins. Sexuality. Violence. Collage. Scrapbooking. Fuzzy things. Cuddling. Subjectivity. Legibility / Illegibility.

“she will not be difficult to work with. When her

baby vomits gently over a purple Balenciaga

dress she apologizes by doesn’t fuss”

Gender, as in female. Cat’s cradle. The invention of childhood. It Is The Future. Feminazi. Nighties. Whitesnake. Drew Barrymore. Cri de Couer. Honey. Quilting. The Angel in the House. Pussy Willow said “Meow!” Degrassi Junior High. Romance Novels. My other car is a Broom. Love’s Baby Soft: Because innocence is sexier than you think. Queens. Crying. What’s her problem? The killing of the Unicorn.

I gotta stop being a bitch.

Birds. Lace. Cherry Blossoms. Hamsters. Protection. Softness.

Mothers

and their

Adult Children

Healing

Ourselves

the other with freedom but no respect. But economics abhors a vac-

uum and the whore class—which over time grew to include strip-

pers, peep-sho

It was somebody else’s idea of ourselves.

not quite

The

Weekend

Witch

self-

control

She’s had enough.

-Nikki

Thank you, Nikki!

As for "Madonna Shoe"...all those watercolours are by my favourite leading lady rendering Brooke Nechvatel. And since we're talking in turquoise...I'll leave you with 'Union City Blue' by Blondie...'re-arrange my mind/in turquoise/union city blue'

probably my favourite Blondie song. But. Then there's Dreaming

I'm going to ride the bike around the lake now. I'll dunk my head while I'm @ it.
thanks for being here!
s

2010-05-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

New favourite hilarious blog by Serena McCarroll. WHATTA DEAL!
i'm not into the 'food deals' cos i'm in toronto right now and i'm combatting the pollution/noise/chaos by eating pristinely....but it's all hilarious and the photos are grrrrrreat.
i think it's important for everyone to seek out deals. i know it's a lil bit of work but if we all work together on this, we can do it! Stick it to the man! I know this blog is toronto-centric RE deals, but think if each city had a 'whatta deal' blog! (PS and yes. i understand the extreme naivete of that wishfulness. i do understand how the capitalist system works. It is in the shape of a pyramid).

Found out recently i use HUMOUR as a 'coping mechanism'.

Thanks to the great John Webster who sent me those pics of PAUL STANLEY (total pig) and Stevie. That's someone's 'fantasy couple'. Not mine!

Well, here's what i did all weekend

2010-05-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

these are only detail shots. there was MORE!!
Dan Clowes' head. I thought it would be funny to turn around and take photos of people lined up for autographs/signatures. That's one of my favourite bunny collectors, Megan, getting her book signed..plus ROBERT, and Serena McCarroll to the far right. Dan Clowes is awesome. I got to shake his head..i mean hand.
Amy Lockhart and Marc Bell eating pizza. Amy entertained me all weekend. She's hilarious and has so many good stories (and good art)
Maurice Vellekoop and Elisa (my roadie (for the day)) eating pizza. Maurice was my neighbor on the right. He was also excellent. Good company all around!
oh hey it's robert dayton in goldenrod.
another favourite bunny collector. please note her handmade bunny bag full of bunnies!
TCAF! That's COMICS and ARTS.

NOW in other news:
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
i love this!!!

thanks Kristin Ponygirl for ..where did you find this Craigslist posting?

Bookstore boy - w4m (Roncesvalles)

Date: 2010-05-11, 11:56AM EDT

Sunday afternoon at Another Story.
You: Plaid-wearing, probably FtM, mid-20s guy with nice smile and maybe chest tattoo.
Me: Fancy-ish girl in fancy coat, bought greeting cards, asked about Sonja Ahlers.
Wanted to flirt/chat/something then, but was in a weird mood and didn't.

Location: Roncesvalles
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1735318377

I spent the day working at Magic Pony getting my installation ready for the book launch. Boy! Does it work my brain/body. I dont know why. I was assembling purely on intuition (and then not. it's a lil complicated. one works by rote but then the brain has to kick in for logistics and practicality/order). I'm so tired. It's all catching up with me. Exhausted. I'm going to get lots of sleep tonight so i can INVENT something in the gallery tomorrow!

black sabbath witch

2010-05-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

i cant wait to get to chicago!!! awesome people like....Anne Elizabeth Moore.
i think we'll all just end up in Chicago.
She's going to write a review of The Selves in Bitch Magazine. Yah!! I think Bitch will like the page in the selves that reads: I gotta stop being a bitch
in brooke's perfect watercolour print.
but we is changing to: START. scratch 'stop' replace with START.
it's really okay. look at bette davis!
(thanks LP for suggest)

i'm taking advantage of toronto's good cheap food/lazy *ss not cooking (i just got here!)...it's cheaper to eat out here. i dont do that in the yukon. it is so, so, so nice to ride the bike in the city on a sunny day in a spring dress. i've been wearing my yukon attire for long enuff. (you dont wanna know). i'm getting ready for TCAF this weekend! That comics festival is just gonna be off the hook!

i was watching 'the lovely bones' on the plane. that 'alice' cocteau twins song srsly chokes me up (hit that 2nd link. it'll blow your mind). i guess peter jackson likes elizabeth fraser (as much as i do)..b/c they used a really old C.Twins song and then a new one...the old stuff is incoherent and her newer work crystal clear. you can hear her every word. she was obscuring them before. the divide between old work and new work is vast. i can dig it. i can get to that. Some ppl prefer the older work.

i swear the handsome boy in L. Bones was holding up that black sabbath album cover..i rewound it a few times to make sure but the dumb plane video screen wasn't complying. it's the cover with the witch that i used in...the book.

i talk about the book like it was my baby. it is my baby. a lifetime of thought and nine months to make...and i dont have a pet right now (unless you count my rock) so i need a bookbaby to keep me going.

Oh..so the other 'Alice' link is from a movie called: El espíritu de la colmena (The Spirit of the Beehive). It's from 1973. This is odd b/c 'the lovely bones' was set in 1973 too, as in also. (& my dollar bill towel has that date on it. alot of good things happened that year. dreamboat annie. people were born).

Watching a snippet of 'spirit of the beehive' makes 'lovely bones' look like a mcdonald's ad. (i mean rotten ronnie mcd's)

i love markie mark (and i liked the movie still... cos i'm like that. i love that sh*t).

xo

WORKSHOPPIN

2010-04-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

okay going to do a workshop/artists' talk in Toronto @ Narwhal Art Projects with Selena Wong as part of "The Selves" mania. May 25. Info on card. (if you double click it you can read it clearly and you wont think you need glasses)

The Selves, The Selves, The Selves

2010-04-29T23:39:00.000-07:00

busy! My new book The Selves will be born May 1, 2010.

The first book launch will be @ the Western Front in Vancouver.

I will be at The Toronto Comics Arts Festival May 8 & 9 (signing books and doing two panel discussions). Should be a hoot.

Toronto launch @ Magic Pony May 13th 6-9pm (gallery installation and signing)

more to come!

Kevin Chong wrote a great piece on 'selves' for the CBC. You can read it here.

Pictures above were scanned from Australia's Frankie magazine by my pal Kelly Smith in Tasmania. She contributed to the book (beauty drawing of StephanieKaye). You can see more of her fashion illustration work HERE.

(it's hard to read the txt but if you click the image, it will magically enlarge itself. Please read Kevin's CBC article for more information)

Camille Claudel

2010-04-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

i'd like to work in clothes like that.

see. she's being freed from the rock.
People Staring At Art.

just came in from the bush with all these pussywillows..kinda like this

last week on FACEBOOK (or 'faceplant' as my friend's dad likes to call it..like 3 years ago), i posted:

"the pussywillows grow wild in these parts"

(which they do in the yukon)

this induced a truly ridiculous mini train of head in gutter/wheel in the ditch style. i wanted to post the above visual as my new STATUS UPDATE but decided NOT b/c i dont want to play reindeer games on FACEBOOK..but honestly...i got that many pussywillows..as led zep 4 guy.

Camille Claudel

Apparently if you are a very good sculptor (a master), and you are gouging away and chipping and hammering onto and into your medium of choice..say..marble...then you are basically releasing the people stuck inside the rock.

that sounds like a good job. i wouldn't mind hammering away on something.

Camille Claudel is a really good movie.

She makes an appearance in The Selves

"Her goal was to help people discover the purpose of their lives and to guide them in achieving spiritual and emotional independence."

2010-04-17T01:34:00.001-07:00

that subject was swami radha's goal.
the picture is the world's greatest record store (from A Clockwork Orange. ignore that txt)

yesterday and today the interests lie here and here

after several days of Total Brain Overdrive, the only thing that helped was some yoga..and i'm talking some crazy turtle pose biznazz. the teacher reminded me of another book i really like. this book...so that set me back on this ashram in the kootenays.

anyhoozle (new word. got bored with 'anyhow')...these are the fun things to distract me from work chitter chatter minutiae of getting ready to put out a book!

as for the Men, Women and Chainsaws: Gendre In Modern Horror Film ...i want that book but I will have to re-do the cover or make a book jacket. that is some serious whack(job) bad cover design. WOO. BAD. (photoshop gradien?? ahh help!)

The author Carol J. Glover (teaches @ UCBerkeley) wrote a pre-cursor essay "Her Body, Himself". The title alone is done. gone. enough.

I wrote a song. It has one line:

He likes
Her Art
When it looks like
His Art

Women making Man Art.

(woah i gotta hit the hay. tomorrow is 'swan haven day'. will drive to see the thousands of swans migrating and a stop at the dump! aka 'tiffany's'. yay. yukon).

"People don't think we can have any serious emotions. Nobody gives a damn. But that's all right, I've got friends."

2010-04-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

Look! It's THE CRAFT! *
I sometimes think about my grade 6 teacher yelling at me for spelling 'etc.' wrong. I kept spelling it: ECT.
He couldn't understand how i could make such a mistake b/c i was OBSESSED with E.T. (the extra terrestrial). ETC. etc. e.t.c.
associate!
Also strange because i was an egg-cellent speller.
go figger.

my twitter joke of the week is:

in a previous life, i invented Latin.

He was a great teacher! He wasn't really yelling..it was more of that sort of passionate...shouting. you know when teachers get all into it.

* or as i liked to joke in the 90s...'the kraft dinner'. That movie The Craft is kinda bad (not scary)..unless you're, like, 11 years old..or 9 years old...but Richard Scarry is great any time.

& jank's response is....

2010-04-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

he thinks the baby carriage looks like PACMAN. thanks janks! (pacman. who came up with that name? Pack Man..or...Pack, Man! I'm packing!). Jank's link is better.

"I've been to Vidal Sassoon!"

2010-04-13T00:21:00.001-07:00

my pal jank and i were emailing half the day (lie) about rosemary's baby. fool finally saw it NOW. lucky him. shocking b/c he has seen EVERYTHING. As for me, I've been watching it on repeat since i was a teenager.
i usually watch it a couple of times a year..you can watch it on youtube. i see something different every time i tune in. that is what good art should do. this time i got very into the opening credits. so beautiful! so douglas sirk! (also obsessed w/the twin peaks' credits..neon green on the pacific northwest backdrop)
jank pointed out the first bloody scene on the pavement outside The Dakota and made the john lennon parallel. i thought the same thought. (People think the same thoughts).

I love the part where Minnie/Ruth Gordon's freaking out about the drink spillage on her carpet:
"The carpet! The carpet!"

I like the graphic so very much. I want that poster framed hanging over my bed: PRAY FOR ROSEMARY'S BABY for all eternity. sleep tight, little one!

PS. Can you please do me a favour? Can you go on Facebook and join my fan page that this nice boy Craig in New Zealand set up for me about a year ago? It's called 'Sonja Ahlers'.
My website is still DOWN (good lord help us) & i have to attempt some type of web presence while i continue to be a perfectionistic noncommital RE website. I'm going to try to stay on 'fan page'.

don't overthink it

2010-03-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

favourite thing of the week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJi26Eo6hgc

Katie Stelmanis. I love this budget/magic video...plastic witch hats/modern dance/drowning/synchronized swimming @ community pool/neon fire/in a dinge-y city park*..her VOICE is so beautiful.

the 'drugs' photo is by meesoo lee.♣
*Toronto - a city where great people live.
I (dont) need that gordon gekko cordless phone. JS used to re-enact this scene holding up two video cassettes in lieu of that phone...setting off peels of laughter (from me..and if you know me, you know what that sounds like).

YAY JC

2010-03-18T22:09:00.001-07:00

srsly. thot this blog had been hacked into but it had something to do w/ my TWITTER ACCOUNT. good thing i know JEFF who fixed this probz.
song of the day in honour of alex chilton
found out he wrote theme song for..um..'That 70s Show' which i managed to NEVER watch b/c i hated TV in the 90s...This sounds like Cheap Trick AND Big Star. YAH! so just to clarify: chilton from Big Star wrote this and Cheap Trick performed it.

steal a car
drive on down
pick you up
and we'll drive around

not a thing to do/but talk to you

WE'RE ALL ALRIGHT!
WE'RE ALL ALRIGHT!

(i'm (still) writing some songs right now. Write now). i'll just talk about it and mention it here and there & that'll be that.

"even a palace can be a prison"

2010-03-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

(i'm trying to save some time so i'm 'publishing' this email i wrote to one of my favourite penpal friends..since dawn of time..and then i just turn it into a blog entry. anyways.....)

hi SC

i hope you got some breathing in.
i know all about that. (eg page from forthcoming 'selves': DEEP BREATHS ALWAYS RELAXED HER)
what are the galleries you have to interview @?

'fake it till you make it'

'i fake it so real/i am beyond fake'

(i still dont unnerstand that hole lyric. nor do i care to)

i just saw 'young victoria'. it was splendid. nothing & i mean NOTHING bad happens*.
she and prince albert GENUINELY were in heart/love.

i realize that i sat thru the whole movie waiting for something bad to happen.

well. he does (spoiler alert) DIE. but not in the movie. and of course she dies, too. but not till her 80s.
he died at 42 of typhoid fever.

which is why it is 'splendid' (that he didn't die in the movie. maybe all the bad stuff happens later)

they had NINE CHILDREN*. 9! all with splendid names like helena, louise, arthur, alfred, alice, leopold, beatrice and so forth.

here's my favourite piece of information:

Reflecting back into her childhood, Victoria was always prone to self pity. On Dec. 14th 1861 Albert died from typhoid fever at Windsor Castle. Victoria remained in self-imposed seclusion for ten years. This genuine, but obsessive mourning kept her occupied for the rest of her life and played an important role in the evolution of what would become the Victorian mentality.

Growing up in Victoria, I was brainwashed by images of this queen. My impressions were of her twilight years. She always looked miserable to me.

Now I know why.

(been watching some lady gaga. That is a fun video in a Prisoner: Cell Block H way/i dunno..clockwork orange/tarantino-ESQUE. too obvs?).

PS!!! WEIRD!! this JAIL motif is playing itself out over and over! (see previous blog entry)..so that video..and then I watched 'I've Loved You So Long' which about a sister who is released from prison..for uh..murder...it's a beautiful movie. unfolds so perfectly. HIGHLY recommend...also..in 'young victoria' she says, "even a palace can be a prison". I keep thinking about jail. just thinking.
also..thinking about AUSTRALIA nonstop (& about 5,000 other things)

Interesting Fact: an average person has 20,000 thoughts per day. 90% of which are useless.

*i forgot. he does take a bullet for her. (albert for victoria). my bad, s'all good. he doesn't die.

YOU GOTTA BE JOKIN'!

2010-03-11T12:07:00.000-08:00

this photo i found whilst wasting my time before bed catching myself up d-listed archives is...MY BROTHER! seriously. this is who i grew up with! THIS!

ok. my brother is a lil softer. JOAQUIN!! what happened? this photo is 2 years old..but i'm truly concerned. maybe things have mellowed out. i just saw 'the village'...i thought it was going to be scary scary but it turns into a love story and that made me happy. it's good. i love taking movies out of the library. i'd never hv watched that otherwise...unless i was on..a plane.

there are a hundred noteworthy things since my last post but i'll get back on track with that.

i'm dealing with my book stuff right now. oh yes.

Lovely Marisa Meltzer just posted this lil snippet on her blog:

http://meltzer.tumblr.com/

i'm alive and I LIVE HERE.

2010-03-09T23:13:00.000-08:00

boy oh boy oh boy oh B O Y!
i haven't been able to post b/c i've been IN JAIL. it's a libra/pluto/lil wayne thing and i am SO joking.
i'd never end up in jail. AZ IF.
maybe when i go to hell, i'll end up in JAIL. Hell's jail or A Jail In Hell would be hard.

this is jokes to the max. and i'm so unprofessional.

actually. i've been too busy playing the GUITAR. it's a miracle but i'm remembering all my 90s songs. how did this happen? it didn't happen 2 years ago when i tried to pick the thing up again after seven years OF NOT. there's something in the air. and you know it.

the photographs above is what i get to see everyday on my walk. this is over the little bridge i cross. i do VISUALIZATIONS for 2 seconds standing in the middle of the bridge. ok. really just prayers...like: PLEASE HELP ME FINISH MY BOOK.

and imagine the water rushing below me..as though everything was finishing and moving away in the current. it must've worked.

of course by now..everything has melted. those days were very magical. ice queens.

PS i spent more time today thinking about jail. i bet ppl do illegal things just so they can go to jail. a safe place of sorts. if you're lucky in the cushy ones. saving us from ourselves.

EYES OF LAURA MARS

2010-01-11T13:01:00.000-08:00

this movie is hilarious. it's a 1978 stylish, corny psychological thriller starring FAYE DUNAWAY fresh from her Oscar win for Network.
lots of screaming and histrionics.
a young tommy lee jones playing a cop in these off-duty awesome lean flared jeans 4 inches too long, skinny leather belt and tucked in top..he's cute in it (how come men with pock marks get hollywood attention (bill murry, edward james olmos..to name 2) how come no ladies with pock marks get hollywood attention?)

i already posted this link on twitter but it's so good it's going here too!

EYES OF LAURA MARS

Helmet Newton is responsible for all the high-fashion art photography. AWESOME sets & clothing. I love 1978. Faye whipping around in a Pacer (w/ faux wood paneling)
& BARBRA streisand sings the theme song which RULES. i couldn't believe it was her. normally i can't deal w/ B.S.

Avatar review (a quickie): I do believe James Cameron is not only on top of the world but may be a closeted feminist! i like his (& the small army of people responsible for this 10-year projet) message in the movie. it is a great message to the masses: war is bad. nature wins. love conquers all. fantasy can become reality. real life sucks. create an avatar.

i dont know if i liked it b/c i went in w/ zero expectations. i thot it was ALL cgi. I breathed a sigh of relief when i saw sigourney weaver (typecast) and real people. ...and yes. the CGI was out of control. When i see movies at the theatre i turn into an 8 year old - gasping and squirming. I get right into it. I'm glad to be able to access that child within at the drop of a hat. lucky me. Something i will never lose. Not at this point.

Avatar was too long though. 'Avatired', as Mindy Kaling tweeted.

this n that

2010-01-06T23:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Angelus Novus

say, did you go see elizabethzvonar's show @ the CAG?
i'm super ♡jealous♡/in love of the pic she used/art she made with the two girls 'channelling'

oh Art. what are you?
xo
ps
i just watched inglorious basterds. finally. i'm just a lil behind. i'm just catching up. that was awesome. speaking of art. the stilles. amazing use of a bowie/moroder song. felt like bladerunner for two secs.
hv u seen it? awesome but sic. splendid. engaging. sadistic. i hate war.
a masterdpiece.
(brad pitt was brad pitt)
well, gonna go steal the bowie/giorgiomoroder 'catpeople/puttingoutfire' song off the innernet

PS this is very "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"

if you're real bored u can watch the vid/horrible cover of a Replacements song. just gotta scroll down a bit.
& read the dead-on comment below it.

I'd Love to get my hands on HANDS OFF!!

2010-01-05T01:14:00.000-08:00

woah..check out this funny piece of writing on a self-defense book: Hands Off! A unique new system of self defence against assault for the women of today, by Bob Jones (1983, Bay Books).

Ya that's stevie nicks learning the ways of bob. bob teaches ladies how to defend themselves from rapists using some wild style mnemonic system. it's crazy talk!

Thank you John Webster for passing on this link (also led me to a fun site called 'awful library books' by two librarians about crappy books that cross their paths).

PS wazzup with those rasta colours? oh yea. part of Bob's system!

Ke$ha

2010-01-04T00:30:00.000-08:00

i was going to ask, 'hi. can someone tell me why i like this song right now?' but i already know the answer. i am only six months off. i'm catching up from the last year.
so
her older brother got her into fugazi. says her 'style icon' is keith richards.
in her TIK TOK video she is wearing broken down cowboy boots with duct tape (punk). she grew up poor. her single mom was a singer. as a teen she snuck into prince's house. was kicked out but left behind a demo. never got a call. for a spell she slept in her gold 1978 trans am.

in her video she is having fun.

(we should all be having fun)

the video is:
v. mall/american apparel/DOVE style. it makes me think of 'i wanna rock' by twisted sister. her hair is a lil like dee's. but it's all GIRL.
she rhymes 'crunk' with 'touch my junk' & mentions 'mick jagger'
and she brushes her teeth with some 'jack'

i dont think this is all an appropriate booze message for teens of 2day. dont say i dint warn ya.

she's a kid. you say her name like you are about to say 'ketchup'.

unfortunately the other songs aren't as good as The Hit. 'blah blah blah' is okay. I wish her well!!!!! (Post-script: Prentice says 'tik tok' reminds her of L'Trimm. Lady Tigra and Bunny D)

welcome to 2010!

oh. just read an excellent book that was a gift from carla gillis. THE BOYS OF MY YOUTH by jo ann beard. love love love it. it came out in 1998. short stories/memoirs. highly inspiring. sad, tragic, beautiful, hopeful, perfect. to me. as i sit here about to start my own. a project i've been mulling over since before 1998. we'll see. who knows? i just re-play the memoirs in my head. i try to make sense out of them.

i have a hard time getting in to books. i keep trying to read 'middlesex' by j. eugenides. dragging it around. i just can't get into it. Let me know if you know a book that i will like. i prefer books written by women about girls or ladies.

cat's out of the bag

2009-12-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

time for a sneak peak of my new book cover!

i'm SO STOKED on this cover. it happened like magic on the scanner. basically i had nothing to do with it. tell me what you think.

i found this link via 'The Comicbook Reporter'. if you scroll to the very end, you'll find me. That's right.

i attempted 'edge of seventeen' last nite at karaoke. that was so bad. hardly anyone was there (fortunately) but i definitely disgraced myself several times over. i apologized to the folks who were there. what else did i wreck? i seemed to have blocked it out. that song is OUT OF HAND. the only person who can pull it off is stevie nicks herself. although elisa - body double duet - rescued it. i just stood there shaking my head.

today i went to a really nice toy store on roncesvalles 'scooter girl'. i was meeting a lady who ordered a custom black angora bunny. i picked out a few SCHLEICH animals for my collection. The Sea Of Tea got me into those. I got a polar bear, an ostrich and a tiny black bear who looks like Frances (manx cat gone). The polar bear is good value - only $6.49 for basically a small sculpture. But this might be a gift for a polar bear friend. I know. this is fascinating.

um i better get back to packing. again. not quite a master yet.
that entry just felt like a bad note i passed in class. SORRY! i might as well be karaoke-ing 'edge of seventeen'. o. wait lindsay lohan can do that song!

Apocalypse Now/Roses Rise Above

2009-12-07T12:00:00.000-08:00

just uh..re-grouping/re-gathering for Part B of Marathon Life. Part Zee? i dont know. no. cos that'd b The End.

I really, really love the text i received from a pal whilst trying to sleep after Hell Day Of Work. whilst falling asleep: beepbeepprockersong cel phone goingoff. text reads:

'what do you think about The Pick-Up Artist?'

i look at txt and shake my head 'not' and go back to sleep.10 minutes later...wake up AGAIN to:

'from 1987, that is'

this is a penpal friend from 1994. the only communication we have these days is relating thru movies. last week he lied to me (via txt) that

Krzysztof Kieślowski

does indeed have a post Three Colours piece: "Puce". K.K. had to make it cos he was broke. sofia coppola has a bad acting job death scene in it. Lying. (btw of that trilogy "Red" is my favourite. I even had the soundtrack).

i informed him i'm still making my way thru 'i spit on your grave' aka 'day of the woman' that rape revenge movie. (starring giallo actress Camille Keaton - granddaughter of Buster. She was married to the filmmaker: Meir Zarchi. Why would a husband put his wife thru that? I"m serious. there's a 30 minute 'rape scene' that is total B-movie but also barf-inducing. I have to keep turning it off.

'the pick-up artist' stars robert downey (pre'junior') and the effervescent (of that time): MOLLY RINGWALD. JC says: 'it's bad. trying to make an adult john hughes movie'.

ART above are sketches by the outstanding artist BROOKE NECHVATEL. i'm sure she 'doodled' these whilst on hold (on phone). Or lazily doodling whilst watching...i dunno...Falcon's Crest?

i love my new hat by julie sinden! thanks to anabela who is connecting the good ladies making stuff up one by one. i wore it in the house. i switched to pajamas and the hat stayed on.

please click anabela's name and you can see what i've been doing for the last...11-days...prior to those days were many many many days of sewing, sewing sewing like that vermeer lacemaker.

hey woah. Rose Melberg's on the radio just now. she's my birthday pal. her voice is one of the most beautiful voices EVER. one time we did a duet once. A Heart song from Little Queen. Treat Me Well. I couldn't find it on youtube so listen to THIS instead. Best Heart song ever. MISTRAL WIND.

ps. took me two days to get this post up.

coach taylor

2009-12-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

my friend asked me once, 'do u wish coach taylor was your dad?' he's the coach from friday night lights. i thought, 'no'. he's quite spazzy and when he's very angry his face twitches. but. he has a heart of gold. honorable.
i hv no idea why i'm bloggin it up at 3am when i have to wake up in 5 hrs or so do work a 12 hr day at an 11-day korporate kraft market. self-torture. hard-wired. still. working on that. one step forward ten backwards.

the self-healing cookbook is my favourite cookbook in the whole world. i dont follow recipes. ever. i buy what i want at the store. i bring it home. i do something with it. i make something up. i hate looking for things and gathering. i hate butter and sugar and anything white in food. etc. i hate following other people's instructions - unless that person is my friend. i'd say this cookbook is a friend. the lady who wrote it - kristina turner - was part of that wild findhorn place in SCOTLAND (get me to scotland. now. highland cattle asap. get married for free at gretna green. yesterday). findhorn is the place where the earth was totally barren but the couple who started it somehow grew the most beautiful lush snowballing garden. ever. so the lady cooked there. when she wrote this cookbook she sang the whole time she worked on it.

(i'm too tired to fact check. i just made all of that up).

my friend lisa just started a blog and it's super killer. I LOVE IT. the aesthetic. zero text 'cept concise, diamond-like quotes. nice one. macrobiotic psychedelic. i wish i had that restraint. it'll never happen. we are working on a project. i gather images from here and there wherever. i save them up. i edit. i put them in an envelope. i mail them to her. she receives. she sorts. my instruction is: anything 'wrong' goes in the circular file/is filed under 'g' although in 2009 filed under 'r' for 'recycling' otherwise it's citizen's arrest. we are to make art from these piles.

i'm preparing for a haircut. each strand cries tears when cut.

a totally dumb and very unedited poem called 'at the corporate craft fair'

people seem
to love the bunnies
i make.

it is kind of shocking
to me.

i stand and sit for hours on end
and listen to them
exclaim
speaking of 'receive'
i had no idea.
how much

i shake my head
and go to bed

xo

"NOURISH YOUR INNER ASPECT"

2009-11-27T21:56:00.000-08:00

what? oh ya. i have a blog. it's been awhile b/c i've been really busy making bunnies. duh squared. all the world knows. all the world doesn't care. rah rah rah. and yes. i can only do so much multi-tasking at once. i realize this takes 5 minutes to update...but i'd rather spend...TWENTY MINUTES writing an email (letter) to a friend when i have NO TIME. so i'll blog about a blog: GOOP.
wtf is that sh*t?

"NOURISH YOUR INNER ASPECT"

what does that MEAN????inner aspect?
what? i dont have one? cos i starved it to death cos i fed it cheezies? is that like tamagachi?)
INNER ASPECT. that makes NO SENSE..gwyneth. take off, eh? so those who dont know that's paltrow's blog's tagline...for her blog 'goop'. last nite whilst trying to pass right out i thot, 'why 'goop'?' then i thot of her initials..so it's probably a childhood nickname. check. GP. etc. etc. et cetera. SHE is the only one nourshing HER inner aspect b/c CLEARLY she needs to.

but it's all goop..i mean. it's all good. she knows PLENTY *wait* ALL the famous people so that makes it all okay okay okay.

yay!
bye bye bye
ps
(i hv to wake up in a few hours. again. i've been working 16 hr days for weeks and weeks and weeks now gearing up for the 'one of a kind show' and it's total craft olympics 2010 in advance. now i have to SELL all of the units and this is not hard and i didn't make enough b/c i was finishing my book till october and then i had to stop and get an extended deadline and now i'm scared cos i'm running out of stock. it's scary to watch my bunnies disappear sometimes. like bye bye friend! but i'm finding good homes for them. thank the world. i'm so tired i feel like i'm on crack and acid..whatever that would feel like. plus the air is so dry in there..like real dry and there are hundreds and hundreds of people wandering and shopping. it's quite the H1-N1 scene).
xo

xo
ps oh and that's cat power fr awhile back and as usual it has nothing to do w/ anything.

Double Future by Sarah Cain

2009-10-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

Lessons in ART!

this is my dear friend sarah cain. guess how we became friends? zines..penpals...and here we are..10 - 15 years later.

i love her art. she's a poet.

this is a video of sarah talking about her recent work in zurich. she speaks my language.