"You're A Goddess!"

This bowl blows
my mind.

It belongs to the lady i am subletting from (commitment issues. mine. plus my associations with "Gypsy Bikers". Needlesstosay, the sublet keeps extending itself).

I have eaten cereal out of this bowl.
The Blown Mind.

I laugh every time i look at it.

Why does the word 'goddess' make me cringe so?
I say 'god' every ten seconds. I don't cringe for that word.
why are they SO MANY negative connotations associated with that word?
Answer: The 90s.
Was used in The 70s.
I believe The 80s wiped the slate clean.
(back-pedalled..as did the spice girls to the feminist movement of 90s. devastating).

Obscenities:

"omfg" ("Oh My Fucking Goddess!")
'omg'



There was a mirror by the front door: red plastic heart-shaped frame - had a
"San Francisco" feeling to it - the STORE not the city...had text on it that read: "You are Great! I love you!"
you know..all the things we need to hear everyday all the time..every 10 seconds to really drill it home.
I couldn't take it the embarrassment of the mirror and shoved in a drawer.

To all the ladies in the world, i would just like to say:

YOU'RE FABULOUS!
YOU'RE AMAZING!
YOU'RE DIVINE!
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!

YOU ARE A GODDESS!!!!!

Dr. Skipper Is Awesome!

ya. Prentice should rule world.

thanks for sending me this!

i dont know how she finds these things..i give up too easily. on certain things.

Ok so further inspection..Gwyneth isn't as 'bummed' as i remember. clearly i was projecting. she actually looks quite smug which is much more in line with, what i summize to be - her character. seriously. she's a hollywood brat who attended only the best prep schools. her levels of CONFIDENCE are unparalleled. jealous? i think not. you couldn't pay me two million dollars to be in that chick's shoes. I will, however, admit i definitely have a hard time with The Privileged and class.

but way deep, deep, DEEP down inside - we are all the same...all with potential to be as depressed or euphoric as plath, paltrow (Gwyneth Plathtrow. see?).

Barf. Spare me.

I hate that new age shit. (even though i am quite Nu Wage).

God. even her NAME. Woah. Time out. Just wiki'd the meaning of her name. Welsh for 'happiness'.

I TAKE IT ALL BACK.

(did i mention i am in a bad mood?)

PS further dissection of the ad: G.P. looks really tanned. Note silver rings against skin tone (even if B&W). Remember those sweaters!!!!! Ha ha!

"I GOT MOCKED FOR HAVING KRISS KROSS ON MY WORK-OUT MIXX"

I like her hair. Jamie's, that is.

those are all pics from Prom Night. Watch the trailer for a sweet treat! It's Canadian!

diablo 'Juno' Cody got a pixie cut.
she stuck up a random photo on twitter. it's weird. i stared at it for a long time (@ least 20 seconds)* There isn't any point in me finding it and posting it.
she lined her ENTIRE EYELID (BOTH) with BLACK eyeliner.
Unrecognizable.
"*20seconds i'll never get back".

The Egyptians used kohl to line their eyes to ward off evil spirits. "Diablo" may need that..in Hollyweird.

she's really into this office she's working out of. won't stop talking about 'the office'. 'office this' 'office that'...'oh, the office'.
'sure is lots of food lying around in this OFFICE - 'specially in the conference room!'...'got caught eating chocolate cake straight out of the fridge'.
The she said:

'i just got mocked for having kriss kross on my 'work-out mix'

Do you wanna know how i know all this shit? TWITTER!

Mac Daddy/Daddy Mac (hit it or quit it). a great way to start the day! Two children rappers who wore their clothes backwards. Jump! Jump! "I missed the bus!"

for hollywood, diablo is considered 'cool' as in: 'weird cool'. for people like us, kriss kross made its way onto a party mixx FOUR years ago. (possibly five - let me check my download files).

jennifer's body is now being promo'd. Another movie she wrote. Writers are solitary creatures. This will explain why she likes being in the office so much! She can be in the company of others.

Unfortunately the people @ HBO behind TRUE BLOOD beat them to the punch w/ the ad campaign. (FAR superior). Same, same idea. A mouth. Very, very red. Blood.

That's not a good sign.

of course i might like to see the movie. Starring - who is this slut megan fox? Is it too early to tell? oh wait she's in TRANSFORMERS 2 w/ shia le bouef (aka new harrison ford with a name begging to be MOCKED. i understand that i did not spell his name right. So ya.. Jennifer's Body (named after a HOLE song). Waiting to be ripped to shreds. Shot in Burnaby, BC...just like JUNO! I guess that means the movie will be FUN!
I'm not going to talk about Juno right now.
J.B. the movie seems kind of on par w/ the new natasha (slums of beverly hills prodigy) lyonne movie 'all about evil'

N.L. is five feet three inches tall. Things went a lil haywire for her awhile back.
i was checking in w/ her online last night..wondering if she's okay. she seems to be. she almost died. she really should've played janis joplin. it would've changed everything. last i heard zooey deschanel got the part. but where's the movie?
I like Zooey. That was the only reason I watched WEEDS. (this season is really bothering me, btw. Nancy Botwin's attitude is very, very annoying..i mean, Mary-Louise Parker. I don't know. something is going on. 'Andy' is carrying the weight of the whole show on his shoulders. He is very hilarious. Not ever Jennifer Jason Leigh can soop it up. They better pull it together. Oh. Last week JJLeigh's character said, 'this necklace? i think i bought online through Etsy').

that Janis Joplin script has been circulating hollywood for, like, 15 years PLUS. Meg Ryan wanted to play it. MEG: what is your deal? WAKE ! UP! no you can't play Janis Joplin back then or ever! Just cos you have big hair - Janis Joplin you will never be. You already played Jim Morrison's drug addict girlfriend Pamela and made a mockery of her character. (btw, if you're really bored i HIGHLY recommend a re-watch of THE DOORS movie. what a hunk of hilarious deluded oliver stone @#*%). I recall Meg wanted to play Sylvia Plath @ one point. But no, Gwynnie got that. Y'see, Paltrow also gets depressed. I remember an ESPRIT AD from the late 80s (a really great time in history) with an unknown Gwyneth teenager. Her hair is mousey brown (perhaps even 'brindle shit brown') and she looks very bummed. She said: "I would distribute condoms at highschools". That was the campaign - all spelled out in large and small typewriter text font. It's hard to find that image online - for some reason. I am so thankful there is a Cate Blanchett in the world to lord/RULE over the Gwyneth Paltrows.

Money Shots & Pennies

ya ya stevie. might hv to take this pick to the hairdress next time. i swear i've never done that.

um hi. that's jamie lee curtis KISSING michael meyers. money shot supreme! Sick!

best actress in universe: glenn close! as 'alexx forest' in FATAL ATTRACTION. she's not afraid to play the hard roles. She's not afraid to play a harsh bitch (see Damages)

I call all those pictures "money shots". I know. disgusting. But i cant think of what else to call them! I go cruising online for 30 minutes or so to find these things. It takes awhile. So i find the M.S. and high-five myself.

i'm glad someone else likes pennies as much as i do. A floor tiled with pennies! It's so beautiful. I'm gonna copy that. "Copy that! 10 four, big buddy". It's fun to copy! Everyone else is doing it! It's how we learn!
Katia gave me a big bag of pennies last month. I use them in bunnies as y'all know. I scrub each individual penny with a little toothbrush. I look for special years. I've started making birthday cards - very minimal with just the penny HOT GLUE GUNNED to the card - the year the patient was born.

Cubby (brother) works for the municipality of Esquimalt. He started off in highschool driving the Zamboni Machine (ice resurfacer. yes) and later became a garbageman. He said people would throw bags of change in the garbage. Bags of pennies.

People.

There is a garbage strike in Toronto right now and people are going apeshit. I'm all: get a grip people.

Seriously..i throw out ONE small bag of garbage maybe once a month perhaps two. IF EVEN. I'm talking small plastic handled bag. Almost everything can be recycled. Almost everything except maybe...swept up lint or dust. If you are Kerri Reid, you can make art out of that.

People.

(again, Cubby named his puppy "Penny")

The local CBC (so boring. i way prefer BC...) will not shut up about this one newspiece about a man who has taken upon himself to charge people $5 a bag to pick up their garbage and take it to a private dump. He's a STRIKEBREAKER. I heard the story 3 or 4 times today.

Here is some rambling from the weekend:

we'll see. if i can drag my tired ass out the house. at least i found a good outfit/uniform for the week. it's a full late 40s skirt - khaki w/ strange painterly print w/ bits of orange..kinda france-like (price: FREE), a calico/'little house' thin-strapped sun top (PRICE: $5 "i-hate-value-village-dot-com", a skinny orange neon belt from Italy (PRICE= FREE) and the awesome KORK-EASE in 'natural buff' that totally rule and fit like a glove. see somethings are awesome. (HOWEVER..PRICE = $300...and at least two months of harassing the company via phone and email. it. was.insane. i ended paying USD and an out of control brokerage fee - almost a hundred bucks. they were the last pair in that colour. sold out everywhere. i had to wait till they came in from brazil..and then tracked down at a miami warehouse...ridiculous. needlesstosay, i wear them every second.

now i understand why people want to go out. to wear an outfit that they like. i get it. or hope for a *love connection*. ha ha
or party get wasted or NOT BE WITH THEMSELVES.

i get it.
I'm just saying all that b/c i'm having problems extracting myself from the house. that's what happens when you work from home.

i am, however, trying to sprout some seeds.

i'm about to go hardcore w/ the Drawn and quarterly book. gotta get that done.
i m doing all colour, no text..so that all the world can look at it and there will be no language barriers..just the way michael (j) would've liked it!

TONIGHT WE PARTY FOR MICHAEL!

just a lil guy

1971. M's dog looks like my brother's dog Penny!

see. michael just wanted peace!

check that halo/nimbus

Givin' 'Er. always. Michael gave 'er. Michael was a perfectionist.

There's another Penny! From Good Times! Click that GT's link! i'm serious.

Sad.

i'm joining in with the rest of the universe here! trillions of images to choose from. The top, to me, is the moist poignant. I love that dog. It's taken in 1971 when he was only 12 years old. I was just being born. So many pics of MJ - he's just GIVIN' 'ER! He gave 'er. Everything. I wonder what was taken from him. I read a couple of things tonight - Jordan Chandler - the kid who accused MJ of molestation confessed that he LIED. 'Jordy's' abusive father forced him to. Ugh. what a mess. B.S. biznazz. I knew it wasn't true! Michael sure seemed happy in all the "This Is It" press conference shots. It was a good day. I watched a short 'last rehearsals' video of the dancers who came from all over the world to audition. It was touching - albeit set up like a 'so you think you can dance' charade. I'm sad for them now. I started reading more information and i had to stop. That Good Times theme song is forever in my head.

TONIGHT WE PARTY FOR MICHAEL!

cybill

Marilyn Chambers' still from Rabid

i guess i have felt like that a lot over the years

'remember when Fluffy died?'

amazing

quadruple amazing. check out that sick painting in the back.

not cybill shepherd but they worked that angle.

sick

sic

not an especially good time (above). Hair, dress.

Those are all pictures of Marilyn Chambers. I'll get those. ('cept for The Last Picture Show)

TONIGHT WE PARTY FOR MICHAEL!

that's my favourite twitter of the day...i also like bruce la bruce's:

Hello? Michael Jackson. Heath Ledger.

which was preceded by:

Wonder if they'll reissue Michael Jackson Was My Lover: The Secret Diary of Jordie Chandler by Victor Gutierrez. I own an autographed copy.

I myself LIED on facebook today and status updated:

Heard on subway this morning: "AND FOR THE RECORD, I NEVER SHAT TALKED MICHAEL!"

a. LIE! this morning i was in bed sleeping off insomnia therefore nowhere NEAR a subway (and sleeping off my heavy sad michael dreams. for real).

b. i just want people to know that I never shit talked michael. i just didn't want to get into 'discussion' about it. So i did what the general populace does - put air quote marks around it. buffer. hide. faker.

anytime i heard a pedophilia accusation, i just felt sad. To be frank, i didn't want believe it. I didn't want to KNOW. Mmmmichael 'apparently' had prescriptive drug and booze issues so maybe he was hopped up? People do stupid things under the influence. STILL. I don't know. i don't buy it. & christ - it doesn't matter anymore. Unless of course if it was true, the adult children are permanently damaged. IT was/is so interesting to me how CERTAIN people would get so angry, accusational, divided about this alleged pedophilia. All it made me think was:

what happened to YOU? & what are YOU not dealing with?

like maybe look at that, people(s).

can i repeat that a hundred times more?

so ya. anytime michael stuff has come up over the last couple of decades...i just felt DEEPLY sad for him. my heart always went out to michael. but this is what one does when they practice extreme EMPATHY. ever heard of it? (not you...the general mass).

i remember watching that..what the hell was that? that crazy MJ expose that came out around 2003 ...watching in the basement of my old house in vancouver with jeremy..in the middle of the day. it was so depressing. i felt so sick inside. even watching it, participating/perpetuating felt so wrong. & strange to come from someone so interested in 'celeb'.

around age 11, i had a short-lived michael obsession. (obsession aside, i have always enjoyed michael's music and spirit (well, you know..before...b4..before i-don't-know-what)) i had many, many posters. that school year i adored my teacher - Mr. Moore. He bore an uncanny resemblance to Herman Munster. He had a booming voice and played the piano and sang at the top of his lungs with pure joy. I liked him so much i became one of the top students. He saw something in me. I worked so hard. Perhaps just to please him. If i hadn't worked so hard for Mr. Moore, I wouldn't have ended up in the gifted kidz program the next year. My whole life would've been different. obvs. I coulda been a drug addict in the smoke pit. Instead i got to hang with all the nerds and dorks. Amen.

I somehow knew that Mr. Moore's daughter really liked Michael Jackson. My short-lived obsesh was coming to a close. I carefully untaped and unpinned my poster collection and lovingly rolled them up and brought them all to school. I said, "Mr. Moore, these are for your daughter because I know she likes Michael Jackson more than I do".

was that too much?
is that what a kid does so desperate for attention and validation ?

i would stop at nothing.

(epilogue: Mr. Moore is still my favourite teacher. I think of him fondly and often.
He loved Ray Bradbury. All old science fiction. I stayed up all night memorizing The Highwayman and dramatically quoted/parroted it back verbatim as a class exercise (SEVENTEEN stanzas of six-lined rhymed couplets. There was no turning back). I would raise my arm and beg to read aloud to the class during "Reading". Raise my arm to read out my writing, to recite poetry. All that jazz).

an idea came up about me posing like the film poster for RABID (1977, david cronenberg). I've made alot of art from this image. (2nd from top). I finally went online to do a lil research. Marilyn Chambers. omg. I had no idea. She was the IVORY SNOW (99 44/100ths pure) model and later starred in Behind The Green Door. PURE PORN.
(DC wanted Sissy Spacek to play the lead but was nixed b/c of her accent).

Marilyn Chambers JUST died in april. aged 62. found in her home by her 17-year old daughter.
In a 2004 interview, Chambers said "My advice to somebody who wants to go into adult films is: Absolutely not! It's heart-breaking. It leaves you kind of empty. So have a day job and don't quit it".

People die all the time everyday every s e c o n d.

When I met her she was a lot harder than I had hoped. She had plucked eyebrows and her hair was very pre-Farrah Fawcett. She had been doing Las Vegas. Chuck Traynor, her husband/manager, was not my favorite kind of guy. Very tough. They were both into trading gold-plated revolvers with Sammy Davis Jr., that kind of thing. It's a world totally foreign to me; not one I'll ever get to know too well. But Chuck was very protective of Marilyn, and very supportive of the movie. And Marilyn herself was very shrewd and sharp, and worked really hard. She'd obviously had some rough times since that first little movie that I saw of hers. But she was a real trouper, and invented her own version of Method acting. When she had to cry it wasn't a problem, because Chuck would say, "Remember when Fluffy died"—Fluffy was her cat—and then she'd cry. I thought she had real talent, and expected her to go on and do other straight movies. But she went back. I don't know if it was Chuck, or that the industry still wouldn't accept her.

"We Cut Up The Same Magazine"

I write this to u from my deathbed.
naw not really. i was going to go lie on the bed and type from a camille-like/can't lift a finger pose but i have to lift all my fingers to demon-type (which is what i do. type fast)

got this email from my old, old, OLD penpal - JC aka Jeff Jank

backstory: we've been penpals since about..oh 1993.
we hv the boxes to prove it!

boxes of letters.

i'm harassing him right now to send me some of my papers for a book project i'm working on and he emails me THOSE (see above) pics w/ the subject:

we cut up the same magazine

his: 1995
mine: circa 2000? don't know. i had a bad habit of never dating anything cos...why?

the third pic is 2008! i am STILL working with this same LEATHERFACE imagery.

my story w/ Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a harrowing 12 year-old memory which i wont get into now (it's funny, tho). I have a thing with chainsaws. My dad and grandpa were loggers. We heated our house with trees that we logged ourselves. Chainsaws are so hilarious to me. And scary. And ridiculous. So, ahem, with my collages - i was just collecting imagery that was playing with golden light. The Leatherface pic is taken during 'THE GOLDEN HOUR' when the sun is just going down and casts the most spectacular, beautiful light...Terrence Malick ('badlands') did an entire movie using that light: Days Of Heaven. A beautiful movie.

oh so yes collage bits PROSE...a tequila sunrise (madonna's drink of choice in Desperately Seeking Susan...which pal Susan and I would drink...b/cos of & my most favourite movie ever "D.S.S") ...sid and nancy...Jank's 1995 collage text reads:

REMEMBER TO RAGE AND SCREAM, ALIENATE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND RUIN THEIR LOVE FOR YOU & DESTROY YOUR REGARD FOR YOURSELF

(hahaha. jeff's so funny. I guess he's my soulmate). Jane Fonda (or "Jane Fondle" as my dad says) and angelina's dad jon voigt in a wheelchair in 'Coming Home' anti Vietnam movie. Jon Voigt is super messed btw. Politically. And there is something really weird between VOIGT and his daughter JOLIE (who will no longer speak to him). CELEBRITIES!!!!! get your stupid shit together.

THIS JUST IN!!!!!!! friggin michael jackson is dead!!! what the ?????????? i'm still dealing w/ farrah fawcett. (mind you...i thought she died awhile ago b/c of her extreme cancer...she has been at death's door for some time now. I was grieving in advance. I have an uncanny knack for predicting celebrity deaths. Sometimes way off the mark but sometimes bang the fuck on. F.F. had a touch of the Marilyn Monroe legacy. just a twinge. ya know? Her celebrity messed with her celebrity. Deeply. She was famous for being..famous. Her acting in the Burning Bed and Extremities blew the collective mind. Just found online she curiously had a hand at sculpture a few years ago. she did, afterall, major in art history in the late 60s.

I've been vaguely, lazily wanting a bottle of her Farrah Fawcett shampoo from the 70s..just to have it..so i could display it and stare at it..or make art with it..i was never proactive about it. I settled for a late 70s magazine clipping...just to save space. Julie Morstad and I used the clipping in a collaborative (that word never sits right) collage show we did together. ya! that was good.
(apparently FF never endorsed this product and never made a penny from it. There's something like that with her poster, too).

i hear ambulances in the background. It's too late! Michael's gone. What if everything was just caving in on Michael? That is what i am visualizing. His deathbed.

One of my favourite musicians these days is Scout Niblett (as mentioned in past). She has a song with just her drumming and she's singing:

we're all gonna die
we're all gonne die

(on repeat).

PS ok twitter RULES right now. everyone is going apeshit on 'trending topics' RE michael...i really...oh god..it's terrible, terrible. People - pay attention to michael! this is what happens to an abused child shoved in the face of celebrity!

bruce la bruce just wrote:

Michael Jackson's death is totally upstaging Farrah's. It's like when Andy Warhol died on the same day as James Coco.

(bruce has great twicks and tweets)


xo
(or since it's 'jeff' day..i generally sign off all emails with: XOX...to sometimes total strangers...a few years ago jeff writes: what is this 'xox' business? cat food?
so i just started signing off my emails to him: catfood)

that felt like deja vu. dear god i hope i haven't repeated myself here. cos i already do that. all the time.

and one more thing: i was steaming vegetables today: purple cabbage, radishes (hi C!) and broccoli. The water i poured out was BLUE. Like blue lagoon blue. Beautiful teal..i couldn't believe it!!!!! You have to try it.